It recently hit me that happiest people can also have a world of emptiness, fear and doubts. Just because people smile a lot, talk a lot, eat a lot or hug a lot, they don’t necessarily not struggle with daily stresses. Stress hits everyone and how we react to it, defines us.
Same goes for depression. Just because someone goes through their daily motions of wake, work, eat, exercise, sex, sleep doesn’t mean they couldn’t have have something gnawing at their hearts, minds and subconscious. Sometimes we see those symptoms, sometimes we don’t.
Counselors aren’t mythical creatures. They have gone to a real school and learned real tricks to help us reset our brains. I think it could be cultural but I see a lot of resistance to getting help. With the growing unhappiness in our society, I see an increased value in their services.
So this year, my hope for myself is to slow down a bit, relax, be content, be patient with people and things around me and find true happiness. What are your hopes for yourself?
SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS 
I ended up counseling the counselor I visited last year. I agree that there is a lot of resistance and it needs to change. But, finding a counselor who is right for you is also challenging and is a trial and error process. It only means that we need more people to take up this profession and also be trained well. The one I went to became very conscious of my PhD degree and tried proving her own PhD credentials to me. That wasn’t the point of my visit and left me with very little confidence in her. It was the first time I had mustered up courage to even go to a counselor and it just left me feeling even more deflated. As if I was beyond help.
Wish you peace and contentment in your new year. I hope you have access to a good counselor. I still haven’t gotten around to looking for one after my semi-disastrous first visit. I am finding it tiresome to start over and narrate my life history all over again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are right, finding a counselor is like finding a soul mate. It is a process. I’ve had friends who have been in a very similar situation, but once they found the fit, they have been more sorted in the head.
I don’t think anyone can help us but ourselves. I believe a counselor’s job is essentially to help us understand our emotions or reactions to circumstances around us. It is our own belief and reactions that can help us out of any circumstance.
I agree with you fully, we need better ones, more of them and people who take their job seriously. So don’t give up. We try so many outfits until we find the best we like.
I am sorry you had one bad experience, but don’t give up on them, but most importantly don’t give up on yourself (I don’t think you have, this is just a wish for you). Thanks for your wishes for me! 🙂
LikeLike
Yes, true. The crisis I needed help with has passed. Eventually, I did row myself out so that’s that. Thanks 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen to that. I didn’t make any resolutions but I did write about what I hope to achieve this year. And peace, contentment, patience are some of the qualities I want to cultivate.
You are so right about there not being a conducive environment to get any help. There is such a stigma associated with seeing a counsellor. Anything to do we the mind and people fear they’d be labeled as mad. And the fear is not unfounded. A friend ho works for autistic children was actually asked, “oh so you work with mad children!” Plus, there’s no awareness about psychologist and psychiatrist being different professions. Frankly, I don’t think it’s shameful to visit either. People are not ashamed of going to a doctor to get over their physical health problems but won’t invest in mental health.
With the stressful lives that we live, I feel every single one of us needs a shrink. But yes, like you and GM mentioned, it’s such a challenge to find one who is just right. I had gone to a shrink several years back and her answer for everything was meditation. I felt like I was not even being heard. Shouldn’t you have a couple of ideas at least given that each one of us is so different?
LikeLike
I was so inspired by your post on what you want 2016 to be like. It is very difficult to be that honest with ourselves and then put it up on social media. It was so refreshing.
So true we don’t do much for our mental well-being. Honestly I think a good listening ear is all we need in our lives. We sort our heads out most of the time. Someone who wont judge us, someone who can stay neutral, someone who can give you non-biased judgement. Unfortunately family and friends don’t quite fit that bill and hence we have to go out of the comfort zone and find professionalism.
The ethics, professionalism, culture of counselors vs psychiatrists is still evolving in India. I am confident in time, with increasing demands those conditions will improve.
LikeLike
I agree that professional counseling really helps. I had a fantastic experience and would not shy away if ever I need it in life. What I don’t like is the general attitude towards it. They think talking to parents, siblings and friends is alright but not to a counsellor. I really wish that this attitude changes.
We all face stress in one form or the other. We all have too much to take care of. I think it is a wise decision to see a counselor when your brain needs resetting.
LikeLike
Everyone perceives the benefits of counselling based on their own experiences. It can be quite a traumatic experience, one that fills the person with self doubt and even more stress than before. You are lucky to have had a great experience. I hope that, such experiences increase, and hopefully the trust in counselors can evolve.
LikeLike