It is bloody hard!
Fall has been one of my favorite seasons for the longest time. As the winds get a bit cooler, the leaves change color, and pumpkins spring up everywhere I have always felt the promise of friends, fun, celebrations, food, wine and cake. So many birthdays in fall, would make me so happy.
This year has been different.
As the winds get a bit cooler, the leaves change color, and pumpkins spring up every where I am reminded of the loss I have experienced in my favorite time of the year. It is bloody hard to get excited about life.
Perhaps life wanted to sober me up. Even though I have the ability to get fully excited about fall, I am reminded that many people around me are dealing with terrible life experiences. As you know life happens to everyone.
So while I stand in solidarity with everyone who is also experiencing my struggle, I have decided I stand up tall and enjoy Fall!
Filed under Abstract, Attitude, Bonding, Camaraderie, Celebration, Challenges, Communication, Condolences, Decisions, Determination, Emotions, Experiences, Goal, Hope, Life, Loss, Motivation, Pain, Personal, Priorities, Relationships, Thoughts, Wishes
She is a mother of 7 and younger. She is much older and yearns to have.
She is religious and conservative. She is spiritual and a liberal.
She believes she is superior. She believes in no such thing.
She hopes. She awaits.
She has settled. She continues the search.
She is wise. She is learned
She is conflicted. She is the conflict.
They make the most unlikely of friendships.
Filed under Abstract, Bonding, Camaraderie, Conversations, Emotions, Experiences, Friends, Friendship, Hope, Life, Living my life, People, Relationships, Society, Thoughts
Quieter days, shut doors at night. The lost love, doesn’t feel as bad.
Missing are the conversations, hugs and kisses. Those days are long gone.
The sun doesn’t shine as bright, nor does the rain come down hard.
Has autumn made its way already? Is Summer really gone?
Filed under Abstract, Disappointments, Doubts, Emotions, Experiences, Friendship, Life, Loss, Love, Love hurts, Marriage, Pain, partner, People, Personal, Questions., Relationships, Short, Society, Thoughts
There is always an internal struggle. The need to be loved and accepted versus the need to be right and righteous. More often than not the need to be loved empowers even the strongest of people. The grief of letting go of your principles hurts no less.
What does one do when one of the most sacred of relationships has no substance in it. The kind of relationship that poets have defended, novelists have written pages upon and those that are even backed by science. It is supposed to be the one relationship one can take for granted and rely upon all your life. What if that relationship never existed.
Resistance is a show of defiance, strength even. At times however, completely letting go, takes away the power from the other person. If you don’t react to abuse, the abuser has no power left over you. Sometimes and really only sometimes, show no resistance. They cannot push or pull you against anything.
What defines a good relationship? Loyalty? Unconditional love? Being blind to the other’s failings. Should they be blind to ours? Is it possible to be honest in our relationships any more? Are the little white lies the only true foundation of most relationships?
Pray do tell…
Filed under Abstract, Camaraderie, Communication, Disappointments, Life, Living my life, Pain, People, Personal, Philosophy, Questions., Rants, Relationships, Society, Thoughts
You know I’ve been respectful of your choices right?! But today I ask you, can you see yet what we see or is he still the president you think you deserve?
Filed under Abstract, Camaraderie, Communication, Conversations, Friends, musings, People, Politics, Questions., Short, Society, Thoughts
I thought nothing would hurt the way your loss did. Until President Obama finished his term. The pain isn’t as sharp, but some days I feel like I lost my dad all over again.
Papa, “I don’t think people like me”, I said one day. I was just stating an observation. “Why would you say that”, he asked. People tease me in school. They make fun of my hair and my round face. They call me names. He smiled, and he asked me, ” Are you sure they don’t like you?” He said no more.
No I wasn’t sure that they didn’t like me. So I told myself if they were talking to me, teasing me-yeah semantics they must actually like me. I learned to laugh off the unwanted attention.
For the longest time, I thought my father had ruined my perception of people’s reaction to me. I read people wrong. Perhaps I do. But what he did right was instill a level of confidence in my self-worth and my own being. Nothing anyone says, can instill any doubts in me about myself.
Thank you, papa.
Now only if people who retorted to this New York times article could have been more proud of their own achievements, than belittle it by being “offended” by a cartoonist.
Filed under Abstract, Attitude, Communication, Confusion, Conversations, Doubts, Emotions, Experiences, Hope, Humor, Inspiration, Life, musings, Philosophy