Category Archives: Philosophy

Giving myself permission to be me!

Many a times when my soul is tortured I turn to Ted Talks. A few inspiring episodes later I am ready to take on the world again. Life circumstances have changed in our household. They aren’t life altering or soul shattering changes, just very small changes. I am learning that even the smallest changes which don’t necessarily change the big picture, also need a learning curve and an adjustment.

That learning curve and adjustment has been taking its toll on me. While I am working on fine tuning my emotional intelligence on current issues in my life I find myself struggling more and more with my stance in life. I am not blind with passion on any one thing. Perhaps my love for the people in my life follows some form of blindness, but nothing else. I have my beliefs I stand by, while I can completely understand yours. I may not accept them, but I know to respect them.

I blame my bringing up for it. My parents raised me to be accepting and non-judgmental. In today’s very polarized world I struggle because of my ability to stay neutral. I feel forced to take side, but I don’t want to lose my essence. I grew up to learn to respect, be tolerant and be accepting of what is different from me.

So while my soul was still tortured, I was looking for something on YouTube from Ted talks to soothe me. I came across this talk from Ash Beckham. I cried at the end of the talk. I will try and explain why. While I am not gay, or have secrets in my closet, I still struggle like all of us do. For once I felt my duality in thought and opinion was okay. It doesn’t have to be Ash or Jesus. I can be me and I don’t need to apologize for it.

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A girl can hope..

I hope people can find true happiness.

I hope people care more, eat less, sleep more, cry less, laugh more, lie less.

I hope people can keep their differences aside, be more respectful.

I hope people would remind themselves we are all people, not man/woman, white/black, native/immigrant.

I hope the boundaries disappear, travel becomes easy.

I hope immigration officers don’t exist.

I hope I continue to live, travel, love, laugh, and believe.

I hope I make this world the kind of place I want to live in.

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Pray do tell..

There is always an internal struggle. The need to be loved and accepted versus the need to be right and righteous. More often than not the need to be loved empowers even the strongest of people. The grief of letting go of your principles hurts no less.

What does one do when one of the most sacred of relationships has no substance in it. The kind of relationship that poets have defended, novelists have written pages upon and those that are even backed by science. It is supposed to be the one relationship one can take for granted and rely upon all your life. What if that relationship never existed.

Resistance is a show of defiance, strength even. At times however, completely letting go, takes away the power from the other person. If you don’t react to abuse, the abuser has no power left over you. Sometimes and really only sometimes, show no resistance. They cannot push or pull you against anything.

What defines a good relationship? Loyalty? Unconditional love? Being blind to the other’s failings. Should they be blind to ours? Is it possible to be honest in our relationships any more? Are the little white lies the only true foundation of most relationships?

Pray do tell…

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International Woman’s Day

Of course I thought of it. I am sure you did too. We just didn’t say anything then. Some of us didn’t say it because of the fear of the consequences of the alternative, so we prayed instead. Some didn’t say it, because acknowledging it would be so uncool. Fact remains one of the largest democracies wasn’t ready for a woman president.

World over women are fighting for equality. Many a times, I cannot tell the actual fight from all the noise. At the outset unless men start to shed their uterus monthly and can bear children like women do, there are inherent differences between men and women. Some of the fight for equality I understand. I too want a voice, a vote, a choice. It is the women that make the waters murky that I don’t.

There is a wave of anti-women’s day by women. I have read blog posts, news articles and messages, Facebook updates that claim they don’t need the women’s day. All women need is equality. I get it. I don’t believe in marches either. I believe, if our actions don’t bring about a real change then the actions were futile. Perhaps how women perceive these women’s days. However for change to take place, someone needs to raise their voice, once the voice is raised, an action can be taken and when years of actions have been taken, a day is  chosen to celebrate that change.

And on this day, I want to take the opportunity to talk to women that confuse empowerment with lack of basic human dignity. There is power in kindness, compassion and generosity. There is something to be said about being dignified and well mannered. Women who think breaking away from tradition or culture and societal norms is empowering, I would hope you don’t think, becoming like the men we fight against is asking for equality.

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Reflection 003

Papa, “I don’t think people like me”, I said one day. I was just stating an observation. “Why would you say that”, he asked. People tease me in school. They make fun of my hair and my round face. They call me names. He smiled, and he asked me, ” Are you sure they don’t like you?” He said no more.

No I wasn’t sure that they didn’t like me. So I told myself if they were talking to me, teasing me-yeah semantics they must actually like me. I learned to laugh off the unwanted attention.

For the longest time, I thought my father had ruined my perception of people’s reaction to me. I read people wrong. Perhaps I do. But what he did right was instill a level of confidence in my self-worth and my own being.  Nothing anyone says, can instill any doubts in me about myself.

Thank you, papa.

Now only if people who retorted to this New York times article could have been more proud of their own achievements, than belittle it by being “offended” by a cartoonist.

 

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Filed under Abstract, Attitude, Communication, Confusion, Conversations, Doubts, Emotions, Experiences, Hope, Humor, Inspiration, Life, musings, Philosophy

How unlucky can I get?

I have never had any luck. I have come to believe no one really does. Success comes from working towards what you want. Some times despite our best efforts things still don’t go our way. My philosophy has changed from, I always have a plan B to thank god the English alphabets go on until “Z”.

I have resigned to the lack of luck so much that I would never buy a lottery ticket, never gamble, never buy raffle tickets, never do anything in which “luck” has to play a part. It got so bad that last year at a deli when the cashier said me,”Hey want to scratch this card for a free coffee?”. I immediately said, “no, luck is never on my side”. “Try it” he said, “it wont cost you”. So I did and didn’t earn a free coffee. I shrugged my shoulders and started to pay for the coffee. The cashier must have felt really bad for me so he offered the coffee on the house.

Pity is even worse than lack of luck in my books, but to let him feel better about his generosity I graciously accepted the free coffee.

For the past few weeks I have been thinking about that interaction. I have been wondering if I have been thwarting my own lady luck’s throat. Perhaps she is around all the time and I just don’t see it. I did end up getting that coffee at no cost.

So in the spirit of letting go, I will try to change my attitude towards life and be more open to the goodness that is begging to come my way. What do you think?

 

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Filed under A first, Abstract, Attitude, Challenges, Determination, Expectations, Experiences, Life, People, Personal, Philosophy, Society

Monday musings

Fear is a good thing they say. It means you are about to do something brave.

Dissatisfaction is the armour of the ambitious he said. The satisfied don’t go very far.

Extroverts are the bad apples of the society. They squish the introverts.

Our dignity lies in our hands. We bring upon what we get.

Look at another perspective, because your own is flawed.

When men speak their mind, they make thinkers and philosophers; when women do, they are privileged.

We all have our opinions. Those we speak out loud and those that we keep to ourselves. We have our own fears and insecurities and prejudices. Only so many of us have the audacity of our beliefs to be honest and voice how we actually feel. Most of us don’t. I am all for opinions. But some I just can’t wrap my head around.

Which camp do you belong to?

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