Welcome my darling!

We have done it! I have done it. What started off over 10 years ago as “let’s see what the doctors say” ended up with an arduous journey of infertility, fetal loss and two beautiful children!

Yes two, a boy and a girl! Complete/perfect family people have exclaimed. Congratulations have been flying. People have said all the right things. Officially on paper it’s amazing!

I’m thrilled. Please don’t get me wrong. I know what it’s taken out of me and my marriage to get this far. Not to mention bank balance but that’s for another day.

There is however so much wrong with our society that I don’t know how to unpack a lot of it.

For starters “Perfect families” don’t exist. If you had a “perfect family” I’d say you are missing out on the quintessential experience of dysfunctional relationships and working through complex emotions. It’s very character building and we have all been through that. As one should. It’s your family that gets you prepared for life and the world in general.

A Pinterest picture family on the wall doesn’t make things perfect. There isn’t a father and a mother a brother and a sister that define a perfect family. Sometimes there is a parent missing, same gender siblings, same gender parents. Many times children aren’t even biological, but they are yours. Sometimes that family isn’t even by ritual. One just builds their own. So what does a perfect family even mean? In today’s world are we still defining life by the archaic narratives sold to us?

I should take a moment to rejoice in the opportunity to be a girl mother however. Never having been very feminine/ girly I was thrilled I had a boy. After all I had a husband who could take care of things. But then the dread of raising a girl started to well up. What if we had a girl? Well what if? I have so many role models around me of amazing mothers/ strong women/ accomplished female artists/scientists you name- I believe I’ll be okay. I may not get the matching bows or the trendiest outfits for my daughter but I know how to show her to survive and thrive in this world on her own terms.

We will be okay darling girl! It’s a true honor and privilege to be called your mom! Welcome to the world little one!