Tag Archives: Rants

The Sham Graduation

Do you know any graduate students in the United States of America? Perhaps the right question should be do you know any graduate student in USA enrolled in a premier institution who is pursuing a master’s degree, a PhD degree and who is going back into residency because despite the shouting from the rooftops about her love for research is essentially a doctor at heart.

If not, you have found yourself in the right place. So let me tell you about my Master’s graduation ceremony. It was my first and it was splendid. Like the first times generally are. Husband by my side, friends to cheer me on I had a moment where I wished my parents would be there to savor the moment. But that was it. It was only that moment. My name was called, I walked up to the stairs, I was hooded, congratulated, hugged called a super star, I collected my degree… er…. well that’s where the sham comes in.. more on that later.. took a professional photograph, walked of the stage, met a few of my faculty, got called the best of the lot, had me beaming, my husband beaming, lots of hugs and photographs later, I was home.

Back to my reality, I have a master’s thesis pending, a Phd proposal pending, a Phd qualifier in less than 6 weeks, a trip to Europe for 10 days (very excited but at such a bad time), and then the start to residency on July 1st. So what exactly did my degree say- It said it was an I-Owe-You! It was for all of us as our degrees will be mailed out at a later date. Mine is contingent to my thesis submission. I am no where close to being done. It will get done, I am confident. Just not yet.

In my mind, I am gunning for the PhD. That day I will ensure my mother will be there for my big day. I will let some of my closest friends know too. Perhaps that day I could truly walk tall and proud and finally feel accomplished.

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Filed under A first, Attitude, Celebration, Determination, Friends, Goal, Life, Living my life, Milestones, Motivation, People, Personal, Resolutions, Update, Wishes

Monday blues

I feel like I am a life time behind on things. Things I wanted to do, I need to achieve. My personal goals, wishes and hopes. I seem to have no motivation. I am worried. I have asked myself at least 3 times today, do I need to call the counselor. I have personally benefited from a session with the counselor, but it wasn’t in ways it was intended to be. I realized then that no one can tell me how to feel. What I feel I feel and I have no control over it. The person I pay a hefty fee to just listen to me, has even less control over my feelings. I realized that if I spoke to myself more than I already do, then maybe I wont be in all the muck I usually find myself in. I need to rationalize my thoughts. Hence thinking about the need to call a counselor is worrisome at best. When exactly and where did I lose my shit?

I am amazed at how perfect everyone’s life looks from the outside. I have had friends tell me they envy my life, marriage, friendships, accomplishments.. the list goes on. I sometimes fall into that trap myself. I find myself envying others. After all people always project the best of themselves. Even though we are all flawed, our relationships are a constant work in progress and we sleep every night along with our insecurities and unfulfilled aspirations. We remain alone in our struggles and fears. I am tired of putting my best self forward all the time. Can I stop being an adult sometimes?

Another week starts. 5 weeks to go until the new year and we can all start pretending the new year will some how be different from the last. Happy Monday y’all.

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Filed under A first, Abstract, Always one step behind, Emotions, Environment, Expectations, Experiences, Life, Personal, Society, Thoughts

Friday – rant day

I mean no offense to anyone. I would also like you to challenge my experiences by helping me find new ones, ones that restore my faith but for now, I need to rant.

  1. Everybody in this time and age is a connoisseur of sorts. I don’t like this coffe, cannot stand that movie, don’t read such books, not my type of music, not my type of people. Before you even allow yourself to give another thing a chance, the nose is turned up and a no is at the tip of the tongue. How about tone down false egos, get off your high horse and learn to appreciate little things in life. Or just take your negativity elsewhere.
  2. Nope you are not entitled. Nothing and absolutely nothing entitles you to anything. Not even your voting right if you are going to abuse it. Your parent’s money, your parent’s lack of decent bringing up, your arrogant little self who has never achieved anything in life, is not entitled. To people, places or things. Ask your parents. They have worked very hard to get where they are. They have worked very hard to provide for you. You just didn’t see the sleepless nights, or bank statements. No lunch is free should have been the one lesson they taught you.
  3. The struggle is real for everyone. If you have had it easy thus far you are going to get it bad later on. At some point you will have to pay your dues. Everyone has to. I wished parents would teach their kids that. Yes we all want to provide the best for our children, we want to do more than our parents did. If you think you turned out alright, then your parents did something right. I bet they didn’t always say yes and you were punished for bad behaviour. It is okay to do the same for the next generation.
  4. Health is an investment. It takes time, energy, money and shifting of priorities. So the ‘chalta hai’ attitude thrown at someone who has battled weight loss for years, watched her family disappear due to ignorance and arrogance is irritating and unnecessary. I understand that my constant reminder to my friends and family could be irritating. I would hope that you can see, I come from a place of worry, fear and care. Only because I want the best for you, do I take that extra minute to send you articles, information and reminders that I feel would be helpful to you. I am very close to stop caring with your attitude.
  5. What’s up with the new passive aggressive behaviour on social media. What’s up with I know it all attitude? What’s up with, I am too cool to ask arrogance? What’s up with hoping life will happen to you, when you make no effort of living it to it’s fullest potential?

Phew! Over and out! Have a great weekend you all!

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Filed under Disappointments, Emotions, Experiences, focus, Friends, Health, Issues, Life, Opinion, People, Philosophy, Priorities, Rants, Relationships, Society, Thoughts

Appalled

Rant ahead-

I don’t expect people to understand world politics. I know that is an acquired interest. But it is very important to know, be involved and help channelize local politics. It affects our daily lives, it affects the place we create for our children.

“I am not into politics”, just means you don’t care. Then don’t complain, and don’t think you deserve anything from the constituency, city, state or country you live in.

There was a picture I came across, where there are women with banners in their hands demanding the right to vote. Women and men alike fought to have a voice. Use it.

The end.

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Filed under Culture, Disappointments, Experiences, Issues