Tag Archives: infertility

Make or break!

I’ve stopped believing in absolutes. No one really hates your loves you. Emotions lie in fluid states ready to change at any time. So do circumstances. 

I’m awaiting the results. Today can either end up being a happy day, or a day filled with disappointment and sadness. 

No matter what, I know I’ll survive! 

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Filed under Attitude, Decisions, Faith, Life, Personal, Thoughts

Friday Fives!

If I asked my 23 year old self, I would have said that I have a lot of time, medical science has advanced so much that the biological clock was a matter of old folks tales. There are plenty of stories of women in their 40’s getting pregnant. That holds true now more than then. What no one tells you is the costs of getting pregnant so late in life. I am not even alluding to money. After all, who puts a price tag on a child. The costs are more in terms of time, emotions and physical struggle. By the time a woman is in her 30’s the responsibilities, stress, commitments she has is way more than one anticipates in their 20’s. So here I am into my late 30’s wondering if I would fail in the one superpower I was born with?

The presidential electoral candidates in the United States has me worried. The country being largely divided into two groups it is difficult to agree with all the principles of one party over the other. Each party brings in good ideas with some very bad ones. Of course people vote for the party and not an individual, but don’t individuals matter? Right now all I see is a bunch of clowns. Or has Obama really set the bar that high?

Being the doctor, I am a go to person for a lot of people. I consider it a privilege that people would trust me with their most intimate fears. Come to me for a second opinion, an idea they want to run by, just to voice their concerns, or just use my being a doctor as an excuse to speak with me. When I have my doctor hat on, I am always happy to be of service. So when I get push back on the healthy living articles I forward to family and friends, or when people tell me to “chill” when I remind them that they should get their yearly medical check-ups, I am left wondering at the irony at the situation.

Please don’t kill my blog. I appreciate the fact that there are people who read my blog. Some of you that do,  reached out to me via emails/texts/instagram asking me if I was okay based on my last post. However well meaning you were, I really would have preferred comments here which is why I didn’t encourage conversations on other mediums. I write a post, to generate conversation here. If I wanted to reach out to you in person, I would have. Imagine how many more people we could have reached if we talked about things here. Blogging begets comments on blog. A blogger can hope.

On the most positive note, I was invited to join the swimming master’s class this week. I have been wanting to get to that level for a while now, but don’t think I am ready. My old swim coach mentioned that he will work at my level and get me to speed. I cannot wait. Needless to say I am excited like a school girl and giddy with happiness at the prospect of working with my old coach after 18 months.

What is making you excited and happy or sad and confused? Have a great weekend you all.

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Coincidences?

The jury is out there on this one. Some people believe in it. Some don’t.

My WordPress reader had this post come up a few days and I remember making an effort to read it completely. I pondered over this post and thought of all the people and circumstances that I know have shaped me to be the person that I am today. In the recent months, and I tell you there is no escaping this, I have been confronted by my past. Some that I have waited for all this while and some that I had hoped I would be able to avoid forever. Damn you Zuckerberg/ Acton and Koum there is no escaping anyone now is there?

I was very surprised by a friend request over Facebook yesterday, since this person did pop into my mind after reading that post. I was even more surprised by the flood of emotions. Yes we are very emotional these days. I would really like the curse of the hormones to be over already. But given that it is another month with no positive results is beginning to take a toll on my general sanity. The tears that followed I am pretty sure were the result of the betrayal by the said Facebook friend request sender that is still palpable.

So what does the said friend request sender want from me now? I don’t think the said person knows or remembers that I had declined this invitation a few years ago. Back then, if you didn’t want me in your life I wouldn’t waste a second to stay in your life. With old age I am little less swift now, but I have no tolerance for rude, mean people. I am enough of that already and dealing with what my head puts me through is tough enough. I don’t really need a second party. It is pretty wild and rough already.

But you know curiosity trumps it all. So again, what did the said person want, I wanted to know. – Wanted to wish me on my birthday. Ah! So they remember, the way to my heart is to fuss over me around my birthday. No, friend request sender won’t fall for it this time. I think god sent that post to me for a reason. Don’t let the past haunt you. There is a reason I moved on. You have got to love coincidences.

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Filed under Abstract, Humor, People