Category Archives: Inspiration

A girl can hope..

I hope people can find true happiness.

I hope people care more, eat less, sleep more, cry less, laugh more, lie less.

I hope people can keep their differences aside, be more respectful.

I hope people would remind themselves we are all people, not man/woman, white/black, native/immigrant.

I hope the boundaries disappear, travel becomes easy.

I hope immigration officers don’t exist.

I hope I continue to live, travel, love, laugh, and believe.

I hope I make this world the kind of place I want to live in.

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Reflection 003

Papa, “I don’t think people like me”, I said one day. I was just stating an observation. “Why would you say that”, he asked. People tease me in school. They make fun of my hair and my round face. They call me names. He smiled, and he asked me, ” Are you sure they don’t like you?” He said no more.

No I wasn’t sure that they didn’t like me. So I told myself if they were talking to me, teasing me-yeah semantics they must actually like me. I learned to laugh off the unwanted attention.

For the longest time, I thought my father had ruined my perception of people’s reaction to me. I read people wrong. Perhaps I do. But what he did right was instill a level of confidence in my self-worth and my own being.  Nothing anyone says, can instill any doubts in me about myself.

Thank you, papa.

Now only if people who retorted to this New York times article could have been more proud of their own achievements, than belittle it by being “offended” by a cartoonist.

 

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Happy Thanksgiving…

You know the biggest joke about thanksgiving?  “Only people in American will have bloody wars over materialistic things 24 hours after they have said thanks for everything they already have.”

Despite all the commercialization, blood bath and expensive travel that happens this week, Thanksgiving continues to be my favorite American holiday.

You get blessings, kindness and love from the most unexpected places. My father used to tell me that always do good, with no expectations in return. Even if you don’t receive from the same person, God will look out for you and you will receive when the time is right. Just do your thing. I am thankful for that advice now more than ever. Having had a few rough years myself, I have reaffirmed my belief that everyone has their own struggles. Just because we know nothing about them, and people always put up a brave front, doesn’t mean they don’t have struggles of their own. Be nice, it doesn’t take away anything from anyone. I am very grateful for the sound advise.

I am very thankful for my husband. Not only has he loved me despite all odds, he has embraced my family, my friends, along with our craziness. I haven’t changed as a person “just because I got married.” I have changed a great deal because I have grown up as a person, professionally and personally. I continue to be a work in progress, but every time I look into my husband’s eyes- I see his idea of perfection. I am very grateful for his love.

There are people I haven’t met in person, or met very briefly, and yet I am very thankful they are in my life. Some have sent me countless messages of encouragement, love and support while others have given it to me straight. Even though life has tried it’s best to pull me down, it has also showed me just how you bounce back, thanks to these very people. I am very grateful to know, that people who have full lives of their own will take time out for you. Whether it is making you feel special on your birthday, or remind you that there is no place for stress-induced-ruining-of-health. I am very grateful to see them make a place for me, even in their very full hearts.

I am thankful to this blogging space. No matter how much you have been ignored, you are right where I need you to be. I am really glad I have this space to vent /rant /complain /reminisce /pontificate /laugh /ridicule and just be myself. Eleven years and going strong!

Happy Thanksgiving y’all.

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5 months down, 7 more to go.

What is this year going to mean for me, I often ask myself. Do you? I often hold a mirror to see what I have become. Life happens to all of us, but what do we do about it? How do we let is shape us?  I don’t always like what I see in the mirror, but I tell myself things will get better. To keep myself accountable, I made a list of things I wanted to achieve by the end of this year.

The ones in bold are what I haven’t yet worked on but I need/want to rectify that. So here I am, making myself accountable on my blog.

  • Wake up early(6am-ish), exercise, shower, light an aggarbatti at the home
  • Drink more water, 10K steps daily at a minimum
  • Read the newspaper daily, not monthly
  • Complete Master’s thesis
  • Complete all pending research papers
  • Write at least one paper every 3 months
  • Network on a daily basis
  • Get a better job
  • Log in a daily thought
  • Learn to bake bread, try new recipes, try new cuisines- Tried a few Thai Dishes
  • Meal prep weekly, weigh my food, log food, water and exercise diligently
  • Weight training, swimming, yoga to be incorporated in weekly routines
  • Read articles, books that don’t include school work, research articles, and news.
  • Blog/Instagram/ Write reviews regularly. Make a schedule and stick with it.
  • Limit online/social activity: Do it daily but restrict the number of hours on it
  • Sort out pending paper work from last year
  • Continue and increase recycling- remember almost everything can be recycled
  • Continue and do better with minimalistic living
  • Let go of people, places, ideas and thoughts that don’t want to stay
  • Remember that money saved is money earned
  • Invest in property: May not happen this year
  • Travel to a destination outside of the US
  • Learn Spanish-this is the year
  • Go skating this year-maybe – I went rock climibing instead.
  • Learn to dance -maybe

I know what some of you may say. Well I’ve got almost 50% of my list and we are not even done with half the year. Sometimes though to get what you want to do, you have to work on things every day of your life until you can finally bear fruits.. sometimes those very things mean much more than others.

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Are we there yet?

Personal post about my infertility experience… you have been warned.

There is a very slim chance that we could be pregnant. I never understood why people talked about being pregnant in plural, because only the woman is ever pregnant. Like really what does the man have to do with it? Now having worked at it consciously for the last two years, let’s face it ladies – we don’t get pregnant alone. A partner, friend, chum, husband, sperm donor , sometimes all bundled in one is what it takes to get us there.

In my case, the husband has been not just the voice of reason, an anchor, my support system through some very hormonal days , my friend when I managed to alienate others, my partner in crime, my chaperon at every doctor’s visit, but my man, my love, my life.

So when we were faced with signing consents f0r the potential IVF, I was a little thrown off by  what each of thinks is an obvious choice. For e.g. in the event we separate from each other in the next year, my husband thought the fertilized embryos should automatically go to me. Why? Don’t you want them?  Or in the event we both died, he thinks the embryos should go to my mom. I wanted to nominated my very single 38 year old friend who I have known for the last 15+ years. I felt like she knows me best and she would be the best person to raise my child, as who else could tell my child about me, like only she knows. I thought it was a mutually beneficial decision. I guess there is practicality and then there is practicality. Also if we were to both die, I don’t really think it matters what would happen to those embryos.

How much can we really plan for right? So here I am eagerly awaiting the next blood test, ready to plunge into the next phase of this journey and wondering how much do I really know anything any more?

 

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Friday Fives!

If I asked my 23 year old self, I would have said that I have a lot of time, medical science has advanced so much that the biological clock was a matter of old folks tales. There are plenty of stories of women in their 40’s getting pregnant. That holds true now more than then. What no one tells you is the costs of getting pregnant so late in life. I am not even alluding to money. After all, who puts a price tag on a child. The costs are more in terms of time, emotions and physical struggle. By the time a woman is in her 30’s the responsibilities, stress, commitments she has is way more than one anticipates in their 20’s. So here I am into my late 30’s wondering if I would fail in the one superpower I was born with?

The presidential electoral candidates in the United States has me worried. The country being largely divided into two groups it is difficult to agree with all the principles of one party over the other. Each party brings in good ideas with some very bad ones. Of course people vote for the party and not an individual, but don’t individuals matter? Right now all I see is a bunch of clowns. Or has Obama really set the bar that high?

Being the doctor, I am a go to person for a lot of people. I consider it a privilege that people would trust me with their most intimate fears. Come to me for a second opinion, an idea they want to run by, just to voice their concerns, or just use my being a doctor as an excuse to speak with me. When I have my doctor hat on, I am always happy to be of service. So when I get push back on the healthy living articles I forward to family and friends, or when people tell me to “chill” when I remind them that they should get their yearly medical check-ups, I am left wondering at the irony at the situation.

Please don’t kill my blog. I appreciate the fact that there are people who read my blog. Some of you that do,  reached out to me via emails/texts/instagram asking me if I was okay based on my last post. However well meaning you were, I really would have preferred comments here which is why I didn’t encourage conversations on other mediums. I write a post, to generate conversation here. If I wanted to reach out to you in person, I would have. Imagine how many more people we could have reached if we talked about things here. Blogging begets comments on blog. A blogger can hope.

On the most positive note, I was invited to join the swimming master’s class this week. I have been wanting to get to that level for a while now, but don’t think I am ready. My old swim coach mentioned that he will work at my level and get me to speed. I cannot wait. Needless to say I am excited like a school girl and giddy with happiness at the prospect of working with my old coach after 18 months.

What is making you excited and happy or sad and confused? Have a great weekend you all.

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The good citizen

I don’t know when I started to think about the environment around me, but as long as I can remember I have always been very conscious about it. Switching off lights in a room when not in use, closing the tap when brushing my teeth, choosing a shower over a bath to conserve water, only take as much as I will eat to avoid food wastage are just some of the principles I have lived by. I have always been very big on recycling and minimalist living.

Part of it could be due to my very modest bringing up. Not only did we not grow up with excess in our lives, but my father was always telling us about children in Africa who didn’t have a decent morsel for most meals. Wasting food was a complete no-no.

I know a lot of people in India didn’t really think much of the raddiwalas, and rag pickers when I was growing up. Having now lived in several countries I have a lot of respect for the huge recycling plant run in India. They aren’t regulated by the government, or mandated by law and yet, they run a business that helps recycle almost anything. The plus side, you get some cash back.

When I lived in UK, each house, building,institution were required by law to put away waste in color coded garbage bins to help recycle kitchen waste, paper, office supplies etc. Much to my horror when I came to the US, I realized that this country was way behind the UK in this department. This is a land of plenty with little regard to what is happening in the rest of the world. With stores like Costco, Sam’s club, constant sales and heightened consumerism, wastage is forced upon its citizens here.

Obviously this set me on over drive and I have done everything to preserve what I learned from my modest bringing up. While it is very difficult to constantly say no, I have in my journey learned that I am not alone. On the surface it may seem that this country does not care, but this country if full of very concerned citizens. I feel that is just the way every country functions.  It all boils down to the citizens and their will. So I was thrilled when I got to know about Big Reuse. I use it only to recycle food scraps as the place we live in already expects its residents to recycle, plastic, glass, paper etc.

The past few weeks have been the most educational and rewarding. One of my resolutions this year was to continue and increase recycling.. The fact that I could now avoid adding to the landfill and put my own refuse to some good for the earth has been very satisfying. My first shocker was to realize how much kitchen waste even a very conscientious person like me generates every week. I then noticed how much food actually gets wasted. I still end up filling up a huge box every week. However the weekly account of what we do with our kitchen supplies and waste has helped me streamline my weekly groceries and minimize our waste. I not only feel good about doing something for this earth, I am also saving money.

Do think about what you can do for your environment around you.

 

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