She is a mother of 7 and younger. She is much older and yearns to have.
She is religious and conservative. She is spiritual and a liberal.
She believes she is superior. She believes in no such thing.
She hopes. She awaits.
She has settled. She continues the search.
She is wise. She is learned
She is conflicted. She is the conflict.
They make the most unlikely of friendships.
Filed under Abstract, Bonding, Camaraderie, Conversations, Emotions, Experiences, Friends, Friendship, Hope, Life, Living my life, People, Relationships, Society, Thoughts
Quieter days, shut doors at night. The lost love, doesn’t feel as bad.
Missing are the conversations, hugs and kisses. Those days are long gone.
The sun doesn’t shine as bright, nor does the rain come down hard.
Has autumn made its way already? Is Summer really gone?
Filed under Abstract, Disappointments, Doubts, Emotions, Experiences, Friendship, Life, Loss, Love, Love hurts, Marriage, Pain, partner, People, Personal, Questions., Relationships, Short, Society, Thoughts
I called it friendship. You called it a favor. We both knew it was much more. Only you knew it was wrong. I took my heartbreak and left. It wasn’t forever as you have come back into my life. Only to break my heart again.
Filed under Conversations, Disappointments, Emotions, Friendship, Hope, Life, Love hurts, Men, Pain, People, Personal, Relationships, Sad, Short, Society, Thoughts
- I am an Indian (Brown) immigrant in the United States. I have been here for 3 election cycles but I do not have the right to vote yet.
- I have friends both democrat and republican and we have been friends for over 12 years now.
- I have the benefit of not choosing sides, and I have the ability to look at things from an “outsider’s” point of view.
- I have hope for my adopted country.
Well after that disclaimer, I feel we need to talk to one another now more than ever. There was a CNN news piece that people weren’t going to be with their families over thanksgiving this year. That was just disheartening. Doesn’t matter what our political allegiance may be, I don’t think families should be affected by it.
Having said that, I feel we are very deeply affected. When a friend of mine who is a nurse at a hospital I used to intern at, was fervently supportive of Donald Trump, it made me question a few things.
- Did she not really like me as I did take up a position that could have gone to an American white doctor.
- Does she think I should go back to India?
- Does she not care about what the leader of this nation believes in, whether or not he respects women, people of color, considers climate change to be real and really truly cares about the working class.
- Her support of Donald Trump made me wonder what she truly felt about me.
- It made me question the future of our friendship.
I have time and again played back the years of knowing her. She was the only one I confided in about my deepest fears and darkest thoughts. I knew she would get me. At that time she did. I have been deeply troubled about the foundation of our friendship.
I knew I had to stop letting her posts on Facebook stop affecting me. I know heart of hearts, she is the same person she was when we became friends. She and I have grown up together as people and we have had each other’s back when no one else knew that we were crumbling. No politics can take that away from us.
So I decided I am not going to let petty politics change my love for her, my attitude towards her, and if need be I will stop following her on Facebook. What about the rest of the Facebook posts. People justifying their choice of Trump and being okay with “losing friends” over Facebook. What about those that fear or feel angry at people who did chose Trump claiming that they will delete those different from them.
I see a cry for acceptance, fear, desperation. I see the need to talk more, engage more, think more and act more. I already see people getting more involved with their community. I see people voicing themselves a little stronger/louder. I feel a little can go a long way and even though some of us think we are doomed, I see hope. A little adversity always brings out the best in people. Also, Facebook is not a measure of our relationships, people.
With that out in the open, I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving weekend and a very happy holiday season.
Filed under Advice, Celebration, Communication, Confusion, Conversations, Decisions, Doubts, Emotions, Environment, Expectations, Experiences, Facts, Faith, Fear, focus, Friends, Friendship, Healing, Hope, Issues, Life, Opinion, People, Priorities, Questions., Rants, Resolutions, Society, Thoughts
You know the biggest joke about thanksgiving? “Only people in American will have bloody wars over materialistic things 24 hours after they have said thanks for everything they already have.”
Despite all the commercialization, blood bath and expensive travel that happens this week, Thanksgiving continues to be my favorite American holiday.
You get blessings, kindness and love from the most unexpected places. My father used to tell me that always do good, with no expectations in return. Even if you don’t receive from the same person, God will look out for you and you will receive when the time is right. Just do your thing. I am thankful for that advice now more than ever. Having had a few rough years myself, I have reaffirmed my belief that everyone has their own struggles. Just because we know nothing about them, and people always put up a brave front, doesn’t mean they don’t have struggles of their own. Be nice, it doesn’t take away anything from anyone. I am very grateful for the sound advise.
I am very thankful for my husband. Not only has he loved me despite all odds, he has embraced my family, my friends, along with our craziness. I haven’t changed as a person “just because I got married.” I have changed a great deal because I have grown up as a person, professionally and personally. I continue to be a work in progress, but every time I look into my husband’s eyes- I see his idea of perfection. I am very grateful for his love.
There are people I haven’t met in person, or met very briefly, and yet I am very thankful they are in my life. Some have sent me countless messages of encouragement, love and support while others have given it to me straight. Even though life has tried it’s best to pull me down, it has also showed me just how you bounce back, thanks to these very people. I am very grateful to know, that people who have full lives of their own will take time out for you. Whether it is making you feel special on your birthday, or remind you that there is no place for stress-induced-ruining-of-health. I am very grateful to see them make a place for me, even in their very full hearts.
I am thankful to this blogging space. No matter how much you have been ignored, you are right where I need you to be. I am really glad I have this space to vent /rant /complain /reminisce /pontificate /laugh /ridicule and just be myself. Eleven years and going strong!
Happy Thanksgiving y’all.
Filed under A first, Attitude, Blogging, Bonding, Conversations, Culture, Disappointments, Emotions, Expectations, Food, Friendship, Healing, Health, Inspiration, Life, Living my life, Marriage, Men, Milestones, New York, Pain, partner, People, Personal, Priorities, Relationships, Society, Thoughts
We were moving into our current apartment more than six years ago. A Rabi from the Orthodox Hasidic Jewish community passed by our door just as our furniture was being delivered. He popped his head in, offered help and walked away with a big warm smile.
A few weeks later, as I was coming back from work I was greeted by my neighbor, who also happened to be the Rabi’s wife. She asked me if I would be okay to go into their apartment and turn off the cooking range. Being the first time I was amused. Then I made an effort to get to know more about the ways of the Orthodox Jewish community. I read about Shabbat and made sense of the request my neighbor made of me.
Over the last 6 years, we have watched their family grow from 3 children to 7 and I have been asked to turn off the cooking range on countless occasions. More importantly we have become friends during this time. We have spent time chatting with them, exchanging our thoughts on life, religion, politics, travel, our families. They have prayed for us, visited us in the hospital, sent us food. As we have got to know them over the years the fact that they are very different from us in the way they live, practice their religion, raise their children, dress, eat has stopped being a though worth considering.
Last Friday we were invited to our first Shabbat dinner. I don’t know what prompted the invitation. Is it because we are going to move soon, or because we lost our second baby? Whatever their reason might be, we felt like we were with friends. As they navigated us through their rituals my husband and I wondered why didn’t we do this earlier? We have already shared so much over the last 6 years so why did we not share a meal before?
We spent a good two plus hours chatting to our hearts content, eating a sumptuous meal, listening to their children. As we said our good byes, I wondered if we had just said good bye to a family that had become our closest friends.
Filed under A first, Celebration, Communication, Conversations, Decisions, Environment, Experiences, Friends, Friendship, Home, Life, New York, Personal, Priorities, Society, Thoughts
When I got hospitalized my mother cancelled her surgery which was to be in less than a day and flew to the US. Of course that caused a bit of a panic in the family. Since I have been away from family and friends for almost 20 years now, I didn’t want a flurry of activity on Facebook. Yes I write about myself and my life on a public forum but I consider myself an extremely private person. Funny how that works. There was no way I would indulge in personal information exchange on Facebook, by people I don’t really consider close to me.
Well if you didn’t get the drift, this post is about Facebook. Or the lack thereof. So I deactivated my account. It is a huge step for me
I consider myself a Facebook addict. I got my parents an account.. That is how much I believed in the power of Facebook. I spent 8 months of my life raising awareness on cancer and raise money for the American Cancer Society- On Facebook. I loved the fact that I wouldn’t miss anyone’s birthday and nothing gives me more pleasure than making someone happy on their birthday! And now I know why. It is a big deal to be born. You could be perfectly normal and you can still be lost. So if you made it into this world, you need to be celebrated.
Sometime last year I hit a 1000 friends. The number of social media friends I have is very small. Like 5 perhaps. It has taken me years to get to that level of opening up. So everyone else are people I know in person. For sometime now, I started to realize that people do not even thank me for the yearly birthday wishes. There was absolutely no communication. The notification feeds on Facebook wall, just keeps me bored and forces me to judge people in ways I don’t want to. I find people just becoming haters, intolerant and disgruntled. Not exactly the point of Facebook if you ask me.
Even after I deactivated my account, my husband reported that he could still see my page. So only I wasn’t looking at my account but everyone else could. It’s been more than 3 weeks and I haven’t missed it one bit. My husband (I am responsible for his account as well) tries once in a while to get me back to it. For now I am staying away. I am little concerned about missing 209 wishes on Facebook on my birthday which is less than 6 weeks away. But then really it is the 10/12 people who care about my birthday anyway. Those are the only people that matter to me too.
So here I am wondering am I finally over my Facebook addiction? Has anyone of you got off Facebook? What was your experience?
Filed under Challenges, Decisions, Determination, Friendship, Life, Living my life, Personal, Rants, Society, Thoughts, Update