Another one bites the dust. Is this the new go to? Is that the only way out of our troubles?
Life is tough; has been for a while. Some days I wonder if that was my answer?
I look around to remind myself, get past just one more day. Today is just not that day…
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What do you tell yourself everyday, every night, every minute. What do you dream of when you sleep at night and when you are wide awake. What is it that burns a fire inside of you? What makes you wake up every morning and sleep well at night. Have you every asked yourself, what do you really want for yourself?
On this crisp spring morning, what are you truly wanting!
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Things to do this week:
One clinical day, one medical-education day, 5 one hour presentations, 3 meetings for graduate school, master’s thesis revisions for submission due, PhD proposal hard deadlines due. Apart from this regular work week, I have guests coming to stay with us from India. I am beyond excited and can barely concentrate on what needs to be done.
So today’s mantra: Clear your mind of can’t. I’ll let you all know if I survive this week!
How does your week look like?
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Big warm hug: The answer to almost any situation or perhaps warm tea; medicine to all pain
I wrote a few months ago about my struggle with a friendship. The current political climate does not help at all. The insecurity of not knowing what someone really thinks of you, is crippling to a relationship. But does one’s political affiliation make them a bad person/friend/citizen?
I am not the one to answer any of these questions. Unfortunately, this also appears to be the biggest struggle of our time. We just don’t know who our friends are. We don’t know how valued we are by the people around us. As humans we all need the validation of ourselves. The social structure around us, is diminishing the value of self esteem.
In a society where the number of likes on a Facebook picture/post or the number of hearts on an Instagram picture is more reassuring than meeting a friend in person or a one on one phone call, the factors that play into self validation have changed.
Does that change how humans feel? Is having that 3 am friend enough? Is having one friend enough when the world seeks validations from hundreds/thousands? Is there value in human contact. Of any kind?
With the changing landscape of human behavior I often ask myself, am I expecting too much from people around me? Is it too much to ask for mutual respect, compassion, affection and the ability to once in a while put the other before your own self-interests. I have often thought about what makes a successful relation and every time, it comes down to the people in it!
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Home is where the heart it. This doesn’t feel like home. Perhaps a year isn’t enough time to feel like one belongs. There is too much space that isn’t well inhabited, and there isn’t enough space for so many things that should rightfully find their place here.
The move was meant to bring good luck. I haven’t seen any evidence of that. If anything life has been tough, demanding and very heart breaking. This year has totally sucked so far. So where is the heart I wonder?
What do I need to do to get to where I’d like to be? How does one deep cleanse the old wounds to make way for the new possibilities? I often talk on this blog about letting people go. I sometimes wonder if people should be the easiest commodity to play with in our lives. It is fair to only keep the best quality of them around. What might be good for me, may not be good enough for someone else. When I am wholly and painfully aware that people are the most fragile beings, is it fair to trade them?
People are not the only commodity that one may need to deep cleanse from. What about memories to things and every thing in between that cause pain and hurt? How do we deep cleanse from those?
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..to 2017. I am not going anywhere, however dismal and limited my blogging has become, just in case you thought I was going to go.
Along with a good bye, comes reflection of the past year. I have been taking small steps to reduce my internal struggles and external battles in turn. One thing that has often come to my attention is that the more I am grateful for what I have the more I will have in turn. I don’t know how that works but here are a few things that I am grateful for from 2017.
- Travel: I got to go on vacation with my mother, I got to meet a dear friend in UK, and spend a lot of quality time with my husband.
- Health-mates: I finally opened up to people and joined Facebook walking challenges, Fitbit challenges. Finding solidarity from my health-mates has helped me stay on track.
- More husband time: My husband decided to quit his day job and follow his heart’s desire. I have seen him more, hugged him more, and talked to him. I have loved every minute I have got with him this past year.
- Becoming an advocate for myself. I have often struggled with “seeing both sides” I still do, however I have learned that there is something to be said about having an opinion. We are all entitled to one and it is our right to defend it. I have encouraged myself to be more vocal. That in turn has made me think of what really matters to me and it has been good to know myself better
- Podcasts: Have discovered the world of podcasts this past year and it has changed my life. So much out there.. it has been eye opening.
- Opening myself to the idea of adoption.. making the decision that adding a member to my family is more important to me than feeling defeated that “I” could not make a baby.
- Letting go: That was my only resolution last year.. and I have to say I have done a very good job of it. I let go of negative energy, people, things and everything that sucked the energy out of me. Instead I focused on myself, my work and the people I feel closest to, those that bring positivity in my life.
What are you thankful for?
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