Category Archives: Attitude

Oh marriage?!

So apt to find this draft which has only the title on this page. Yesterday was Karva Chauth. A day I think is supposed to be a private event. At least that is how I grew up to believe it was.

My childhood and tradition forming period in time missed the Karan Johar movies, who in my opinion has completely ruined the sanctity and the way we approach our traditions. Too commercialized in my opinion. And really if your mother didn’t do KC, don’t start now just to be invited to a KC party.

First of all, if anyone thinks that even a non-science educated women, believes fasting/ praying to the moon will either improve her relationship with her husband or increase the longevity of her husband’s life, then you are not giving this said woman basic respect. We women at least in today’s age, know that none of it is true; even as we recite the ancient mythical story of Karva and wait in vain for the moon as it never rises on time.

So I asked myself yesterday, why do I do this fast. I am after all a doctor and a scientist. Why when I have been trained in critical thinking and asking sound clinical questions, do I drop everything to fast, cook up a feast and wait for the moon to rise. I don’t even particularly pray when the moon does show up.

Quite honestly I don’t know. Marriage is bloody hard. It is a daily work in progress.¬† My once a year fast does nothing for our marriage. Well may be a little. It boosts the man’s ego, I get fussed about all day by the man who cannot get over the fact that I would fast for him, so he makes promises he wouldn’t otherwise. Quite worth it, if you ask me. ūüėČ

 

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Filed under Attitude, Culture, Expectations, Experiences, Life, Love, Marriage, Men, partner, Personal, Questions., Relationships, Society, Thoughts, Wishes

I am taking my fall back!

It is bloody hard!

Fall has been one of my favorite seasons for the longest time. As the winds get a bit cooler, the leaves change color, and pumpkins spring up everywhere I have always felt the promise of friends, fun, celebrations, food, wine and cake. So many birthdays in fall, would make me so happy.

This year has been different.

As the winds get a bit cooler, the leaves change color, and pumpkins spring up every where I am reminded of the loss I have experienced in my favorite time of the year. It is bloody hard to get excited about life.

Perhaps life wanted to sober me up. Even though I have the ability to get fully excited about fall, I am  reminded that many  people around me are dealing with terrible life experiences. As you know life happens to everyone.

So while I stand in solidarity with everyone who is also experiencing my struggle, I have decided I stand up tall and enjoy Fall!

 

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Filed under Abstract, Attitude, Bonding, Camaraderie, Celebration, Challenges, Communication, Condolences, Decisions, Determination, Emotions, Experiences, Goal, Hope, Life, Loss, Motivation, Pain, Personal, Priorities, Relationships, Thoughts, Wishes

All I need is a little change in attitude

Every action elicits a reaction. With humans it is generally a very emotional response. Happy/sad/excited/angry etc, depends on our understanding of the intention of the action. If we changed our understanding of the belief, we will change our reaction.

If Dr. Mama Bear thinks her not so daunting stature and even less threatening voice is going to send me to the deep dark hell of self doubt, she has no idea who she is dealing with. 

Happy Wednesday y’all!

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Giving myself permission to be me!

Many a times when my soul is tortured I turn to Ted Talks. A few inspiring episodes later I am ready to take on the world again. Life circumstances have changed in our household. They aren’t life altering or soul shattering changes, just very small changes. I am learning that even the smallest changes which don’t necessarily change the big picture, also need a learning curve and an adjustment.

That learning curve and adjustment has been taking its toll on me. While I am working on fine tuning my emotional intelligence on current issues in my life I find myself struggling more and more with my stance in life. I am not blind with passion on any one thing. Perhaps my love for the people in my life follows some form of blindness, but nothing else. I have my beliefs I stand by, while I can completely understand yours. I may not accept them, but I know to respect them.

I blame my bringing up for it. My parents raised me to be accepting and non-judgmental. In today’s very polarized world I struggle because of my ability to stay neutral. I feel forced to take side, but I don’t want to lose my essence. I grew up to learn to respect, be tolerant and be accepting of what is different from me.

So while my soul was still tortured, I was looking for something on YouTube from Ted talks to soothe me. I came across this talk from Ash Beckham.¬†I cried at the end of the talk. I will try and explain why. While I am not gay, or have secrets in my closet, I still struggle like all of us do. For once I felt my duality in thought and opinion was okay. It doesn’t have to be Ash or Jesus. I can be me and I don’t need to apologize for it.

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A girl can hope..

I hope people can find true happiness.

I hope people care more, eat less, sleep more, cry less, laugh more, lie less.

I hope people can keep their differences aside, be more respectful.

I hope people would remind themselves we are all people, not man/woman, white/black, native/immigrant.

I hope the boundaries disappear, travel becomes easy.

I hope immigration officers don’t exist.

I hope I continue to live, travel, love, laugh, and believe.

I hope I make this world the kind of place I want to live in.

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The Sham Graduation

Do you know any graduate students in the United States of America? Perhaps the right question should be do you know any graduate student in USA enrolled in a premier institution who is pursuing a master’s degree, a PhD degree and who is going back into residency because despite the shouting from the rooftops about her love for research is essentially a doctor at heart.

If not, you have found yourself in the right place. So let me tell you about my Master’s graduation ceremony. It was my first and it was splendid. Like the first times generally are. Husband by my side, friends to cheer me on I had a moment where I wished my parents would be there to savor the moment. But that was it. It was only that moment. My name was called, I walked up to the stairs, I was hooded, congratulated, hugged called a super star, I collected my degree… er…. well that’s where the sham comes in.. more on that later.. took a professional photograph, walked of the stage, met a few of my faculty, got called the best of the lot, had me beaming, my husband beaming, lots of hugs and photographs later, I was home.

Back to my reality, I have a master’s thesis pending, a Phd proposal pending, a Phd qualifier in less than 6 weeks, a trip to Europe for 10 days (very excited but at such a bad time), and then the start to residency on July 1st. So what exactly did my degree say- It said it was an I-Owe-You! It was for all of us as our degrees will be mailed out at a later date. Mine is contingent to my thesis submission. I am no where close to being done. It will get done, I am confident. Just not yet.

In my mind, I am gunning for the PhD. That day I will ensure my mother will be there for my big day. I will let some of my closest friends know too. Perhaps that day I could truly walk tall and proud and finally feel accomplished.

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Filed under A first, Attitude, Celebration, Determination, Friends, Goal, Life, Living my life, Milestones, Motivation, People, Personal, Resolutions, Update, Wishes

Reflection 003

Papa, “I don’t think people like me”, I said one day. I was just stating an observation. “Why would you say that”, he asked. People tease me in school. They make fun of my hair and my round face. They call me names. He smiled, and he asked me, ” Are you sure they don’t like you?” He said no more.

No I wasn’t sure that they didn’t like me. So I told myself if they were talking to me, teasing me-yeah semantics they must actually like me. I learned to laugh off the unwanted attention.

For the longest time, I thought my father had ruined my perception of people’s reaction to me. I read people wrong. Perhaps I do. But what he did right was instill a level of confidence in my self-worth and my own being. ¬†Nothing anyone says, can instill any doubts in me about myself.

Thank you, papa.

Now only if people who retorted to this New York times article could have been more proud of their own achievements, than belittle it by being “offended” by a cartoonist.

 

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