Being married..

..is not the same as being happily married. I consider it the most demanding political career one can juggle with other careers. I’ve said this before and I’ll hopefully keep saying it again. I have a good marriage. It doesn’t come easy for either of us is something I don’t often talk about. A good marriage is a daily work in progress requiring a daily reminder towards our commitments towards each other. This takes effort, restraint, thinking and lots of active participation, along with love respect and devotion.

During this visit to India, I’ve come across a growing concern for the current and future generations of newly married couples. The dissent in marriage is even experienced by those married for over a decade. True story- nothing surprising there.

My top few reasons for growing divorce rates in a country that is considered culturally conservative, full of sari clad women, and well raised boys.

1. The above statement isn’t true. There is no respect. Period. For life, elders, women or the institution of marriage to name a few. There is no culture. There are no well raised children. The false sense of entitlement is taking away from the inherent Indian culture of respect and restraint. Men remain boys and well women can use some growing up as well.

2. Communication. Absolutely essential in a successful marriage but instead of talking to each other, married couples are talking about each other. If not on whatsapp and Facebook then via phone to mommy dearest which is never a good idea.

3. Pride: this could have been a good thing but when one constantly thinks they can get better because they deserve better, they stop appreciating what they have. Everyone in a relation needs constant validation, so give a little take a little. Let Mr. Pride take a hike.

4. Commitment: The infamous chalta hai attitude is creeping into our married lives. It’s okay to hit on another’s wife, it’s okay to share a drink with another’s husband. While flirtation and social drinking are harmless in themselves it is the intention behind these actions that are causing an increase in distrust and divorces. When one becomes callous about their partner’s feelings there is bound to be unhappiness.

16th marked 7 years to the day I said my marriage vows in a social gathering. Mutual respect, communication and trust form the foundation of the relationship we share. I’m grateful for good sense and God for making these last 7 years that happiest of my life. We are by no means the perfect happy couple, but we are perfect for each other.

Happy anniversary dear!

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9 Comments

Filed under Anniversary, Blogging, Communication, Conversations, Decisions, Expectations, Experiences, Friends, Life, Marriage, Men, Milestones, Personal, Philosophy, Priorities, Relationships, Society, Thoughts

9 responses to “Being married..

  1. I agree. The “chalta hain” attitude gets to me all the time. I am making a generalization here. But really, there is no sincerity in our culture. Just blindly following rules is what we do best. No questioning, no self-inquiry, no respect, and an enormous feeling of entitlement for God knows what. All these are so much a part of everyday lives that it’s hardly a surprise to find them creeping in a marriage. Our lack of civic sense makes its way into marriages as well. Sad truth. 😦

    Happy anniversary you! Hope you had a good one. 🙂

    Like

  2. Moushumi Ghosh

    Happy anniversary (slightly belated)!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I had to Google Chalta Hai. The most common definition was a willingness to easily compromise. The word passive came up a lot. I’ve heard and read the phrase before, but never took the time to look it up.

    Happy Belated Anniversary!

    Like

    • It is a very prevalent attitude in India. We accept everything just the way it is. And even though there are those that will complain, they aren’t the ones doing anything to change anything about it. It is so pervasive, that it has become a thing.

      Thank you for your wishes!

      Liked by 1 person

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