Rant and just short of profanity! You have been warned.
That would have had to be the most underwhelming phone call I have participated in. One would think that a conversation that was put off for 13 plus years would have a more crescendo inducing high octave kind of finale. If the last few words do not make sense, don’t worry, the conversation didn’t either.
With the recent influx of “means of communication” you know you will eventually cross paths. When you physically and emotionally avoid having a conversation for years, you expect the said conversation to mean something, leave you happy, make the wait worth it, have a good effect on you. Something different in this conversation would be a reasonable expectation to have, right? You know, since people grow up, have children of their own, go through life. One would expect that things would change, people would change. That would be a reasonable expectation to have. Right? Wrong. Somethings don’t change, some people don’t change. EVER!
For all the heartache, loss of faith in relationships, some very messed up behavior and expensive counselor bills that have followed the last 13 plus years, I can finally say it wasn’t worth it. You weren’t worth it then, you aren’t worth it now. You do have the uncanny ability to screw someone else’s life and make them believe that it was all their fault. That is a gift which has brought you far and yet when I see you, I find you at exactly the same place. I will give you credit for the one truth you did speak- I gave you too much credit and you didn’t deserve it. Amen to that brother!
So, while I am on a roll, let’s just clear up one more thing. I never wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Respect, trust and freedom a very crucial elements in a relationship to me. I am not surprised you couldn’t see it, being all blinded by the love of your life. I bet if she knew what I did about you, she would not have stuck by your either. Actually scratch that. She may have. You are perfect for each other, you need someone to stoke your ego, she needed someone to pay the bills. Match made in heaven.
All said and done, I would like to thank you for one thing. I learned what friends should not be. You were my best lesson in life. Now that I have this off my chest, I think I can go back to being normal, trusting, non-judgmental, and giving friend that I was raised to be.