I always have something to say. Since I don’t really know how to ask, I say thanks. That I know how to do. I am grateful for all the blessings I have received. I am fully aware of them. I don’t ask.
I haven’t felt this numb in a long time. I didn’t have thanks to say, I didn’t have questions. I couldn’t remember the people I always think of. I felt blank. Until I didn’t. I cried.
There has been a lot of crying the past few days. Some I can explain, a lot I cannot. So I let it be. I let the tears flow. Hoping that would help communicate what I feel.
I feel cheated. My faith is being challenged. I believed the unsaid can be heard. I haven’t seen that happen in a while and all I now feel is angry. Empty even.
In the what is considered a safe haven, I feel alone and empty and angry, but most of all I feel challenged.