I’m sitting in the doctors office. Again. It’s becoming a routine. I don’t know yet if there is a problem with me. Or the problem isn’t me at all. It’s an odd feeling when I get those knowing looks from other people. They think they know what I’m going through or what I am there for. I don’t. Maybe they do. The thought is unnerving. I sit tight. I am just another woman trying to understand herself. My understanding is clouded at the moment. Am I doctor? A wife? A woman? Sometimes they are one and the same. Most times not. People know that right? Sometimes I’m just as needy as the next person. I would like to have an anchor. Most times I sail my own . I like it like that. Except those anchors disappear if you don’t dock enough. I don’t think I will ever be okay with that.
While I wait for my name to be called…. small pinch she will say. It really isn’t small pinch. It is a goddamn needle getting into my vein which does not feel like a small pinch.. I forget what I was thinking… so I am going to stop.. my post has no title.. some days are just like that..