I’m unscathed, yet I feel shattered. It isn’t the physical discomforts that get to you. It is the fear and insecurity and feeling of helplessness. I stayed warm all night next to my beloved for which I am grateful. My thoughts kept drifting to patients that needed care and couldn’t get any. I felt the pain of those parents that battled lack of water and electricity while trying to keep their newborn warm, well fed and safe. I even thought of the homeless man I passed by every Sunday when I used to travel for work. I kept wondering where would he find shelter in the rain and wind.
Why do we hang on to thoughts, beliefs, things,people even though they do nothing for us,sometimes even be bad for us. We are so obsessed by how letting go would be a reflection of our failures in relationships, or as a person that we forget sometimes it takes a lot more strength to let go.
It is so good to see happy people around us. Deep down I know they too struggle with their battles. They have chosen to be happy in spite of their circumstances. I salute such people.
My birthday is coming up. Generally I feel very up beat about. I remind my close friends and time phone calls so I don’t miss any. I make such a big deal about it, that people around me end up making a big deal about it. This year feels very different. I don’t know one person who would genuinely care. Where did all those people go away?