As strong as the weakest link…

Recently on several occasions I have been asked, what would my reaction be, if my husband cheated on me. My first reaction is to wonder how would my husband react if I cheated on him. Will I? If yes what will prompt me to go ahead and find warmth, love, affection, respect even if for just one night, in the arms of another man. If it isn’t all of the above that I seek, and my decisions are only being guided by lust, then the real question is am I really cheating on my husband or on the idea that I think is my marriage.

So when I am asked that question, I ask the same questions to myself. Truth is I don’t know what my reaction will be. For all I know, I will first be shocked, maybe even amused and then probably hurt. And then I will try and reason and I will make my husband feel very bad about his choices. I will probably even wonder which divorce lawyer I would consult.

But then again, knowing me, I would want to know the raunchy details of my husband’s escapade. I don’t know. But I am compelled to ask myself how strong is my relationship with my husband. Or should the question be, what is the weakest link in our marriage?

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9 Comments

Filed under A first, Bonding, Communication, Culture, Emotions, Expectations, Experiences, Fears, Love, Men, People, Questions., Relationships, Society, Thoughts

9 responses to “As strong as the weakest link…

  1. Duhita

    where do these thoughts come from…..im in denial, i dont think id want to even think abt them….we havent chatted in a while, i need to find the time! :p hope all is well.

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  2. Duhita:
    I think it is because we see people just like you and me have bad marriages, or things not working out. We have to be cognizant that this can happen to us too. I understand denial. In my conversations, I had nothing to say, as I had never thought of the time that I could be faced with such a situation. But I think dialogue helps. Not just with your partner but with people around you. If you have thought about it, I think you will be better prepared to deal with it.

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  3. IA

    You asked a question I find myself asking every now and then. Whenever I attempt though to talk this over with my partner, he doesn’t want to talk about it because as he says, he won’t entertain such thoughts, he doesn’t plan ever to cheat on me. I guess I’ll just have to cross the bridge when I get there, and I hope I won’t. Ever.

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  4. IA:
    Everybody finds their own methods of making a relationship work, stronger and more dependable. My husband and I find talking things out work for us. We have adopted an open communication policy. This may or may not work for everyone. If you think it is absolutely essential for you to discuss something, without playing a blame game, then perhaps with gentle persuasion you could get your partner to discuss your fears with you. If not, you might have to find alternate ways to find your peace. Good luck.

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  5. Cheating is sign of cowardice, more so in context of relationship. Cheating is always a deal breaker for most people, except in situation of trade-offs

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  6. Greensatya:
    I wouldn’t be harsh enough to judge anyone for the actions they take. I think each to their own. What works for me, may not work for you. My constant question is to wonder if a single act would completely undo everything that we would share until that point. The love, the affection, the devotion, the companionship, the daily togetherness should really count for something right?

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  7. What a right time your blog post has come at! I have just closed the window on Facebook stalking my ex-boyfriend, who became an ex because he was cheating on me. (And no, he is not on my friends list, his profile is visible to me is all)

    And I remember my reaction – it was all a blur of tears and cold winter nights… oh, and did I mention first term, first year of med school?! (Thought you could relate to that one…) We can let go (as in, forgive) of our friends making mistakes or something, but letting go of an emotional attachment because someone messes up is really, really difficult. It happens in life. I loved your point about the weakest link – it is so true. But don’t you think it makes us all the more determined to find a man who understands you in life? I mean I know sometimes people lose faith in love etc. etc…. but more often than not, I find people in much better, stronger relationships. Maybe it’s because they are twice as shy (having once been bitten) – who knows.

    I am yet to experience another relationship after that one (I am in third year now), but I have made much stronger, closer friends instead.

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  8. Sunrise:
    I think for most things in life there is no right or wrong answer. We do what we think would be the best for us in the given situation and hope that things will turn out alright. You will find what will work for you. If and when you are ready you might be able to give another a chance and maybe even yourself.

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  9. Pingback: The year that was.. « SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS

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