Strength or denial?

It is often too late when we decide to ask for help.  We should be able to anticipate in advance that we will need some. We would be expected to know  that we cannot do everything by ourselves. We  should really  know a lot of things but doesn’t look like we do a very good job of learning.

So we suffer. Live with our doubts, scared of the consequences. Most people appear to be doing okay. Question is, are they really?  Do they worry at night?  Who do they go to when they feel helpless and scared?

Or do we continue to pretend that life is perfect, blissful  in denial?



Filed under Abstract, Communication, Disappointments, Expectations, Experiences, Issues, Life, Motivation, People, Society

11 responses to “Strength or denial?

  1. Some of us are just not wired to ask for and use help.

    For a long time I thought it was strength, till I realised that in my Fool’s paradise, it was just me in denial. Even this realisation hasn’t made a difference in anticipating, seeking and using all the help available to me. This tremendously stresses me out, but thats just incidental, eh? 😛

    BTW, de-lurking after long


  2. maybe just discussing or venting with a friend without actually asking for direct help itself is a good move. then maybe one can try their best to be strong on their own and if its not happening, then what are friends for?
    this way you are never an island and its never too late.


  3. I think we continue to pretend that life is perfect, blissful – for others. So we don’t want to disturb their happiness. And if we think otherwise, then we say – ah why bother them, they have enough on their plate already.

    But mostly, it’s the ego.


  4. As kids most of us are asked to be self reliant – that remains engrained in our psyche as we grow older. I will not ask for help if it makes me look weak or someone else will take advantage of my situation is the common thought that would cross someone. Whether Strength or Denial I think it is the fear of making us look lowly that does that trick most of the time.


  5. You’re right there, in the question. I doubt anyone goes to bed at peace. Hardly. Everyone has something or the other in mind about tomorrow, the day after, the health issues, the family. I think it never ends.


  6. Accidental Fame Junkie

    I don’t know about asking for help! It can get addictive you know.. if you know someone is there to rely on. And then what happens when that person/s aren’t around? Some friends might not be around all the time. Then what? So I say better depend on yourself. It’s not denial. It’s being independent. 🙂


  7. Depending on oneself is fine. But sometimes we need to use a stool when our hands dont reach the cookie jar. So much has been lost in denial of the need for help. Its better to ask and be in a peaceful position than otherwise.


  8. i am not sure about asking and pretending, but i sure think that help which is unasked for, is usually unwelcome, for me 🙂


  9. Shankari:
    I am not sure, why is there a reluctance in asking for help. I am not talking about everyday mundane things, but things like career moves, relationship issues. Things that can alter our very being.

    It is the bliss in solitude that we seek. Some times I think people believe that if no one else knew we have a problem, then there isn’t any. I like the idea of discussions.

    I am not so sure about ego! Unless you mean denial is because of ego.

    If only we knew better. So good to see you back.

    May be that is a good thing. May be that is what really keeps us going.

    Like I said to Shankari, I am not talking about everyday regular mundane things. I like independence too but how much of it is good and how much of it is plain living in the oblivion.

    White Magpie:

    That is a whole separate topic. I would agree though.


  10. @Det-res
    >>” Some times I think people believe that if no one else knew we have a problem, then there isn’t any.”

    hmmm… thats like.. “if a tree fell in the forest and no one was around to hear it, does it still make a sound?” 🙂


  11. TAK:
    Yeah! How limited can we get in our perspectives. What a wide scope of opportunity! 🙂


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