Sunday brunch.

I decide to step out for  a walk and coffee at the local deli. I go armed with an umbrella and a book. I know it is only going to be coffee but I feel compelled to take a book with me. The book was gifted to my husband. Then boyfriend. Happy 30th the message said. Wrong age. It felt bad that the book came from someone who knew so little about us. So the book was thrown away into a pile of gifts given with no thought into it. Like a gift that had no connection.

As I drink my second cup of coffee I am amused at how unique each cup is turning out to be. It is the same brew the same pot of milk and me. Yet the second cup is stronger and less sweet. I am enjoying this uniqueness and already thinking of the next cup and what I can possibly experience then.

I turn the page of my book. It is the 15th this time. Less then an hour and I am enjoying this book thoroughly.

My mind wanders . I think of the husband who must be planning for the next week. Work, home me, my family, himself. He has a lot on his plate. Did he know what he was getting into I wonder. Did he know what marriage would expect out of him? Does he miss being by himself? I want to give him his Sunday morning. I want him to drink his coffee at home and read his news paper. Like he used to. He knows why I have come out for a walk. He is letting me be the bigger better person that I am trying to be. I know he is planning our next weekend. I really hope he would find himself again.

I continue to read.  I have  some pancakes and fruit waiting to be devoured. Instead I reach out for my third cup.The book is a real laugh. I wonder why I didn’t read this book before. I make a mental note to remember to put it into my bag when I pack to leave for the week. I don’t want to go. I want to go. I don’t know any more. More has to come out of this staying away from home. I need to focus.

I devour the pancakes and fruit and my book. I think of a long lost friend. I know right now this person would need a friend. I know that this person would be battling emotions and practicality. I know I want to be that friend. I know that the friend needed is not me. It is sad but true. We have moved on. I know I have. I want to go back. Talk. Be there. Be supportive and understanding. I want to let go of my ego. I want to be the one to see this person through today and tomorrow.  I also know it wont happen.

I continue to read the book. I get a call. I go home. I am happy to see my husband. I see the plate on the counter. I know he has had his brunch. I hope his was as tasteful as mine.

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14 Comments

Filed under Bonding, Communication, Experiences, Friends, Issues, Life, Love, People, Relationships, Wishes

14 responses to “Sunday brunch.

  1. gaistu

    ah! the blog of a married person…see no comments. No one is interested in reading it now.

    Like

  2. v

    Who says blogs of married women don’t attract attention? I’m back in your domain, honey.

    Like

  3. Aww so sweet of you to give him his time. You sound so grown up and mature which I am sure you are as a person. You know reading this made me think how I always want want want from my husband, I never give back to the relationship I think…so sad.

    Like

  4. V:
    Doing a little happy dance. Welcome back to blogging. And a very warm welcome to my blog.

    Sines:
    A friend once told me sometimes it isn’t something we do but something we bring into a relationship that keeps us in it. There is obviously something that keeps you in your relationship and I have been reading..it is an amazing one. *touchwood*

    Like

  5. ohh..giving space n all! nice…i guess men never know what they r getting into till they actually do. with the marriage bit that is. so dont worry…and with u being the bigger better person… everything will b just perfect 🙂

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  6. you have lived so many lives in less than an hour. nice

    Like

  7. Medha

    I just love the way you write! Such beautiful expression of your emotions. 🙂

    Have been reading your blog for three years btw!
    🙂

    Like

  8. ah so ur doing good with the whole wifey job .. i think it’s the dr in you 😉

    Like

  9. Aarbee

    You’re det-res now. I don’t even know what that means. I don’t even know since when you’re det-res. I don’t even know when you got married.
    I had lost your blog’s link. Yea, people can manage to do that. But can’t tell you how nice it is to rediscover this space. I don’t know if I am right in assuming that you remember me, but somehow I am remembering the first time I had read your blog when it was not even on wordpress. It used to be hilarious. Been a long time since then. Never thought you could see a stranger evolve so much in the virtual world. 🙂

    Like

  10. Nisha:
    I don’t think anyone knows what they are getting into when they get married. It is beautiful when it goes well. If it doesn’t, you know there are a lot of unwanted consequences.

    TAK:
    It was more than hour. I think I was out for almost three.

    Medha:
    Wow, I didn’t know. Seems a little late to say welcome to my blog. Thanks for reading my posts.

    Sanny:
    May be. 🙂

    Aarbee:
    Of course I remember you. What I find amusing is that you thought my genre was humour. It never was. People do evolve. I am a real person behind this blog you know. 😛

    Like

  11. Are you pregnant? 🙂 There was a lot of “content” in the email..

    Like

  12. Aarbee

    Humour not necessarily being your genre, but a lot of narrations about incidents that used to happen in your life were kinda funny.
    And of course you’re a real person. 🙂 I just meant that I never gave this aspect of blogging a thought before.

    Like

  13. White Magpie:
    What email? What content? Why the idea?

    Aarbee:
    Gotcha! 🙂

    Like

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