Note to self: On being noble.

When misunderstandings have to take place they will. Unfortunately.  Attempting to be noble requires a lot of talent. Rendering unsolicited help is a dangerous path to tread on. Sometimes even the best of intentions can be misunderstood. Especially when one is on the wrong side of the grass. That place is a sensitive spot to be in. The noble should be cognizant of it.

Listen to people. They generally tell you what they really want. Even if they don’t know it themselves. Be very careful when you come up with alternative ideas. It can be misconstrued to you being demotivating or worse still showing lack of confidence.

Help when help is asked. Any other time it is only interference.

If people have stopped discussing their issues with you take the cue, they don’t want you involved.

Don’t even try giving advice. Chances are that everything has been done and tried before you uttered those very words. Imagine how irritating that can be especially when one is done with knocking on all the doors.

Point isn’t that people should not help people. How ever the first step in being helpful is finding out what the help-ee needs. Sometimes, just being your lovely positive enthusiastic and encouraging self is enough.

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5 Comments

Filed under Camaraderie, Communication, Culture, Expectations, Experiences, Friends, People, Society

5 responses to “Note to self: On being noble.

  1. D

    “If people have stopped discussing their issues with you take the cue, they don’t want you involved.”

    Probably because you actually have a solution instead of sympathy for their problem!

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  2. Golden words!

    🙂

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  3. D:
    Probably. A lot of times people don’t need solutions from us. They just need a sympathetic ear. Tiresome no?

    Shankari:
    🙂

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  4. Well when misunderstandings do take place, I take two steps back and figure out what caused it.. and well.. sometimes its difficult to take them steps back if we are mud deep in our egoistic self.. but once you do, its pretty liberating and the mis- understanding becomes and understanding – for you at least.. in corporate language – I would make an analogy to Root Cause Analysis.. 🙂

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  5. Pallavi:
    I constantly reflect on human behaviour. My own more than others. It is hard to point out one’s own wrong doing for various reasons, ego probably one of the biggest. I am not sure what is the best way to deal with this. I strive to learn.

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