Anguish.

I have unread books piling up.  I have taken up a herculean task of catching up with 30 years of reading back log. I have finally managed to get over my mental block of buying books. Books lie unattended. I feel bad for depriving them good company. I wonder if I even deserve to be in their company when I seem to do them no justice.

Have been working on applications for residency in the United States. This process has been very long and tiring for me. Some people I know have been closely associated with this. I wonder how long they will hang on to hopes and dreams. Mine that is. Some times just for their sake I hope this works out for me.

People don’t make sense to me. How do they get by with their hypocrisy and spinelessness.

Relationships are worse. Move in with me because I want this to work makes for a  really awkward conversation. I like my space so much, I wonder if I can have my own apartment when I do decide to commit. Am I chicken or he is just not the right man, I wonder.

I feel lost when it comes to Indian politics. Enough said!

I have joined a language course that is completely ruining my command over other languages. This is not how it was meant to be.

And this isn’t me ranting. I assure you. 🙂

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5 Comments

Filed under Communication, Confusion, Disappointments, Emotions, Environment, Expectations, Experiences, Facts, Fears, Issues, Life, Men, Pain, People, Personal, Questions., Rants, Relationships, Sad, Society, Thoughts, Wishes

5 responses to “Anguish.

  1. Hey good luck with the process. I know how tedious residency applications can be. I like the way you have written a “rant” post without making it seem like a rant. Yes yes. I know you are not ranting. But I completely understand what you are saying. 🙂

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  2. When I get into this mode of feeling bad for the books I buy and don’t read I tell myself ‘This is an investment for the future’. Sometimes it works as I end my finding myself reading the book when the “time is right”

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  3. D

    Point taken.

    As for the pile of unread books in my room, well, I blame the internet for it.

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  4. hahah.. I have loads of unread books as well. But I will read them one by one.. soon.. its good to have them with me.. just knowing that when there is absolutely nothing, i have something to pick up which would be unread.. LOL..

    I love languages.. what have you joined.. Japanese, French or German.. 🙂 Or something really exotic..

    Have done French and German and it was thoroughly enjoyable.. 🙂 All the best on that.

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  5. Solitaire:
    Hey! I hadn’t realised you had dropped by earlier. Oh well!

    Jolvin:
    Good to know. I am definitely going to finish Maximum City and 100 years of Solitude before the end of next month. They really deserve the effort.

    D:
    You have a valid point.

    Pallavi:
    Spanish. It is exotic to me. 🙂

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