The idea of existentialism appeals to me as I have always believed that we are responsible for what happens to us. Whether we are happy, successful, sad and forlorn; we call our state upon us. Also our feelings are in our control. I know that as I can sleep away my depression and begin a new day knowing it is brand new with it’s limitless possibilities.Except I believe in god as well. I have faith. I am not religious or spiritual. I believe there is a reason things turn out the way they do. There is a game plan beyond my control. I have the faith that things will turn out just fine. Fine for me. Which in my books doesn’t allow for complacency. One has to take charge of what they do with their lives and how they shape it. There is a huge conflict in that essence of what I believe and what I want to believe. How I want to live my life and how I do live my life. It confuses people around me too. I cannot blame them. This might be a seedling to hypocrisy which I consciously try and nip in the bud. How ever I give myself the freedom of dealing with my fallacies knowing I am responsible for the outcomes. Just at such times I know I cannot seek help. But then there is always God.