I really want to respond to all the recent comments made. I want to thank all those of you who read what I wrote and wrote what they felt. How much ever I appreciate considering my writing as a potent artform I am but human with real emotions. I prefer conversation over a mere look and nod. Not necesaarily personal but conversation nontheless.
With life not taking the course it was meant to take I find myself at a loss of words cheer poetry or prose. Thence the lack of posts, phone conversations or urge to chat. I realised my reclusive self was becoming a problem when my parents left a voice message asking me if they could get an appointment to speak with me.
I have trouble realising that people are people and that I have to stop keeping them on a pedestle. The higher I keep them, the farther they will fall. Disappointment is inevitable. Do I have control over it?
For a person who maintains a blog on a public domain, claiming to be a private person comes across as a lie. With the risk of repeating myself, a person isn’t what they tell you they but what they aren’t telling you, they are. Such an existence can be stiffling. I know I find myself there at times.
Time is the one thing I need and I don’t have. A past mistake has reappeared. Only uglier this time. A good friend cannot be more hypocritical. I find myself unable to forgive forget dissociate. I have an induration I really shouldn’t have.I have been deleting phone numbers from my phone which I never wanted to. I am cold at 17 Degrees F. I miss being cared for thought of yearned about. I think I am allowed a moment of weakness.