Inarguably I come from the generation of young Indian women who have no idea what they really want in life. Personal life that is.Our mothers didn’t want us to go through what they did. Our fathers didn’t want to be the clichéd 60’s dad who didn’t educate their daughters.So here we are a breed of intelligent, smart, confident, sexual beings who can probably get any job available in the market at whims and fancy.But how capable are we of finding the right man, marrying him and then keeping that marriage.
The number of break-ups, divorces and bad marriages in my generation of young people is at an all time high. I am not getting into whose fault it is. I would just like to know how did our mothers make their marriages work. For so long at that.
I consider myself a very adjusting person. Having lived out of home for over 10 years now,in 4 countries, with over 20 room mates, I think I have it all figured. I can live any where, with any one. In my current living situation I have volunteered to cook food every day. For four adults. I also walk the dog two times a day. No complaints. It isn’t the 2/3 hours a day that I have to spend on the chores that bothers me. It is the responsibility associated with the act of providing 2 square meals a day. The days I don’t feel like cooking, there is no hot meal for me to eat. This annoys me, but it isn’t the end of the world. I sometimes wonder would I be as unaffected by lack of sensitivity by the person I end up marrying.
Will I really be able to put up with having to be responsible for any thing else but me? All the time? Is this the strain that most couples are buckling under? There were times when my mother said she needed a holiday. Those times were rare and very few. She has been a working mother. I don’t ever remember her complaining. Did she know when she got into a marriage, how demanding her life would get? How much of herself she would have to let go to keep her marriage and bring up her children.
Is that some thing the girls of my generation aren’t capable of? Or we don’t want to invest as much of our selves to make relationships work? I don’t understand people harping about women’s rights. I think a lot of us are beyond those issues. Where I come from I battle different demons. No matter what I achieve will I ever be good enough.