Writing to wish you a very Happy Christmas and an even better year.
There is so much I want to say to you. But we are almost at the end of this year and I doubt that I will ever get a chance to speak with you.I am going to tell you everything that is on my mind. I have to. I don’t know who else to tell.
At this point in time you can chose whether you want to go ahead and read this mail or just ignore me. Suit yourself.
I feel stupid for trying so hard to socially interact with you. Of course I enjoy your company. The fact that you are a resident which puts you in a much better position in life career wise totally seduced me. Not realising once that you had made your intentions really clear. You did strike under the cover of inebriation. Or so you intended to. And here I have been harping on friendship. Juvenile. I agree.
I have yo-yoed in my mind and gone crazy wondering if I was being stupid with no self respect what so ever or was I not being considerate enough to the fact that you have just gone through an emotionally traumatic experience.Principally I think you have to deal with your own issues in life. So I shouldn’t have to bear the brunt of your hurting self. I was upset that I had to and so never thanked you for wishing me on my birthday. How ever I appreciate you caring enough to do so.
I am disappointed that we couldn’t hang out together. I am sad that you didn’t feel the freedom to be yourself when around me. I think of you often and wonder if things could have been different between us. Who knows another day, another place they could have.
If you have survived this far, thanks for giving me the time. You have been very helpful and patient with me. Talking to you always instils hope that things will turn out fine in my life.Probably why I like talking to you so much.
I am not going to make promises of not contacting you again. When I hit the panic button I tend to call you. But I will try.
Bye for now. Happy holidays.