Growing up, I felt that most of the female protagonists were highly successful, ambitious and top of their league people. To get the best man in the room you had to be the best yourself. In any book, novel, movie or play. She is always the smartest, funniest, most accomplished and always the head of the science field if you read the books that I read. I got that. I even believed in it. I even attempted at being the best in the room. Not only to ensure I landed with the smartest, most ambitious, funniest, awesome-ist man, but because that is how I wanted to be.
I have how ever come to realise that is precisely the reason I am still single.
I find it really hard to make small talk, or laugh at some thing I don’t find funny. Listening to ignorant conversation or some one who has no opinion over anything is suicidal. For e.g. when I asked some one what he loved the most about New York after living there for 4 years. He told me the Subway. I thought fair enough. What else? He could come up with nothing.
I am not writing a male bashing post here. But I am of age where dating is rampant and the search for a partner slightly pressured due to advancing age and the proverbial biological clock. OK fine it isn’t proverbial, the clock is an actual concept. I have 6 years, by when I am sure medical science would have developed further and it wouldn’t matter. My point being there are girls like that too. They could probably rattle off addresses of every Macy’s in New York and know nothing about Ellis Island. How ever I find that women are still judged by how pretty they can look over the smart conversations they can make
My obvious choice for men are the ones who I can’t be with. It is the challenge I crave. Come on the chase is a universal rush. How ever if only I had read some Mills and Boons or the likes I would be better equipped to tell a guy who is a challenge from the one who is just not into me.If only indeed.
So here I am meeting with random men, talking to absolute strangers searching a partner on dating sites. It is tedious, boring and until now a huge waste of time. I shudder to think I might get reduced to settling for some one rather than being with some one I would actually want to.
Oh well, other than “you will find some one when the time is right”, (because if there hasn’t been a right moment in 29 years I wonder if there will ever be one) if you have any view points, suggestions, numbers of eligible bachelors, you know it is time to hit the key board. 😉
Have a nice week you all.