Transition to junior college after the 10th grade was like being in a whole new world. With the good came the ugly.
I took a bus daily to get to my college. Mid way a class fellow would get into the bus. At the exact same point he would leave the bus on our return. For a year we never spoke to each other. When we did, he came with his list of do’s and don’ts. Don’t be seen talking to me in public. Don’t talk to me in college. Don’t talk would have been an easier instruction to follow but I don’t think I was listening. His restrictions amused me, as we got along well. I never really gave his nuances a thought.
10 years down the line I know better. I know he was probably protecting me from something I don’t even want to imagine. If I knew what; I might even want to thank him for not taking away a bit of my innocence. I might thank him for letting me be me and putting up with my chatty self.
Should I thank every person who walked away from me for no reason or without giving me a reason. Should I pretend that each person who stopped talking to me for no reason was trying to be kind. Should I believe that every man I showed some interest in and who chickened away was trying to protect me from pain. Should I be grateful to all the people who did some thing bad for some thing good to happen.
Or can I tell them, don’t wait for time to make me feel better about your actions. Just tell me. I will understand. I am capable of doing so. Don’t make me go through the pain of not knowing.