Nothing personal..

So they say, no one really writes for themselves.Everyone wants an audience.I agree.I started writing my diary when I was very, very little in the hope that some day, people would be clamouring to get a hold of my diaries as then I would be all rich and famous.Fantasies of a young child, what can I say.All I did was write nasty things about everyone I knew, especially my brother.Now when I read them back I laugh at what a wicked little 8 year old mind I had.

My diary felt like a safe place.I had some place to hide.Some place, it would be ok to tell the truth, about me more than anything else.Some place, it would be ok to confess, tell my dirtiest secrets, even those that I some times shuddered to write down lest some one ever found out.My diary was a non-judging confidant.Even now, when a lot of things don’t make sense, I write on a piece of paper.I write down everything, just the way I thought it happened.It does bring a lot of clarity.It helps me see the mirror image of what I wrote.You do know about truth having three sides right? Yours, mine and the one that belongs to the truth.

Can I compare my diaries to my blog? I don’t think so.The conversation between me and my diary is really between me and my conscience. There is the coming together of id, ego and superego all at once , to come to a certain single balanced conclusion about life.We all agree at the end of it.

My blog on the other hand, a super platform of expression, has actually allowed me to interact with so many of you.No, I am not saying you aren’t a conscientious lot.It is just that you don’t have to necessarily agree with me.I like you, you know that.I like you even more when we can agree to disagre.All good methinks.So far.

I don’t think I need to give in to everyone’s expectations.I like being brutally honest about what I think.I don’t always get into social niceties and do speak my mind.I donot let you cross that line I draw around myseld.I refuse to acknowledge your request to see my photo.I know what I say or do can hurt you, but I do it anyway.It helps me keep a check on what I expect from others.It keeps me sane.

On this blog, it is really about all the things that I care and the way I do. I really cannot complain about any one crossing the line with me.I don’t let you.I have read some incredible stories on other blogs.It is my blog after all for me to be the way I want to be.

Nothing personal mate, just the way it is.



Filed under Life

9 responses to “Nothing personal..

  1. Anonymous

    //I refuse to acknowledge your request to see my photo.

    Its a blog after all…no nes dying to see u r pic..and dont make great deals abt it.

    Was thinking to get an account for myself and comment properly on blogs that I followed (that included yours)…but have found the above statement repulsive…just dont like the mindset behind it.

    For what its worth this wud be my last comment.


  2. I never kept a diary, i was alwz scared someone would find out.

    having a nosy sister and all


  3. i had a dairy too… and i used to write down daily events… and one day, i burnt my diary… but the damn thing didn’t burn!!… so i opened my diary again and wrote down how upset i was that it didn’t burn…



  4. Anon13:33:
    Nice to have met you too.Adieu.


  5. Thanu:
    Oh didn’t think of that.Do you think my brother must have read all my diaries?!

    Hehehehe, you are now officially proven to be mad.:P


  6. sb

    my god that Anon13:33 creature is psycho!
    One bit in your post really resonated with me: “…mirror image of what I wrote.”
    And strangely…I was thinking just this morning about why we blog and how its different from writing in our journals. I think there is an exhibitionist in all of us….


  7. SB:
    I doubt everyone writes to display.I have known many a great bloggers who would do so religiously without ever recieving a single comment, or even stat counters to give some evidence that a single person had passed by.


  8. sb

    i didn’t mean everyone writes to display. I guess what i meant was many of us…well…we want to share a lot of what our lives are about and thats what i meant by the exhibitionist in us..


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