Making ‘Difficult conversation’.

I think we have all found ourselves in a situation where we had to make difficult conversation.Either with our friends, collegues,lovers or even parents.

I am not talking of breaking bad news.I am talking of telling people who care about you immensely,that you need time off.That you need your space and no matter how much you love them back, at this precise moment they are the reason you are having a bad day.Telling people that what they said,did or didn’t do hurt your feelings. That their being over concerned,over-involved, over-endorsing is freaking you out

You know that once you have had time, space to think it over,find a new perspective or even vent off you will be fine.But some times to be able to tell that to some one you really care about, can get difficult. One is torn apart between wanting to take care of their own feelings and that of other’s.And one does have the right to one’s own emotions, outburts, dislike.It isn’t a perfect world after all.

I’ve been having such a moment for the past few days.And really nothing has been helping.The cold, the hyper moods and mood swings about new year’s eve, my exams breathing down my neck..Nah nothing is helping.

So I decided to do what every girl has the privilege of doing.I called up my mate and I told her that I needed to biatch.In an instant we were on the phone and I must have ranted non-stop without breathing.I bared my soul and told her about this person creating an emotional turmoil in my life.All the time reminding her and me, more than her; that I love this person but just can’t get to tell them,that I need some time off from them.

She was her generous listening self.After a while, when I was feeling better.She was giving me her gyan (knowledge) for the day.And while she had a non-judgemental, non prejudiced demeanour to her own words,she almost took me to a time when we (my mate and I) were in a similar situation.I did wonder while she was explaing through an old friend’s example that things will be ok, whether it was ‘us’ that she was talking about. We had just phased out of each other’s life at one time and then when we did get back, things were back to normal if not better.

She had this warmth while speaking to me today, that had no hint of being upset,angry instead a promise of a long lasting friendship.

Some thing during that conversation made me realise that you don’t always have to make that difficult conversation.Bitter words needs not be exchanged.Harsh words need not do the rounds.

Some times silences can be more profound than any words spoken.

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16 Comments

Filed under Communication, Confusion, Emotions, Expectations, Experiences, Fears, Life, People, Thoughts

16 responses to “Making ‘Difficult conversation’.

  1. It is so great to have friends like these.

    Like

  2. Thanu:
    LOL, my first reaction was like which these??
    You bet,I totally agree.

    Like

  3. I meant the first kid, whom u can call anytime of the day and pour ur heart out and U know he/she will not judge u.

    That kind

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  4. Thanu:
    Gotcha babes…I so totally agree.Its a blessing.Do you ever find the need to just blurt things out?And then everything seems better.I so have such moments when I need to blow off that steam.
    Oh and I have blogrolled you.See ya around.

    Like

  5. ah….whatz the use in having a ‘non offensive’ goody goody friend ‘always’..:-)

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  6. Ginkgo:
    Hmm,now thats a thought.

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  7. Silence invariably speaks louder than words. Some people understand your silence and leave you be, some others compensate for your silence by mouthing off unwanted concern and care. haha.

    Just a thought..

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  8. well, that’s why they say speech is silver, but silence is golden!

    yes, it’s great to have a friend who can listen. One of my best friends is very patient whenever i need to rant about anything, be it work pressures or relationship problems. although she’s normally the chattier of the two of us, she’s all ears when i need to pour my heart out (which is pretty often!). Need i say, it’s but natural to want to do the same for her……

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  9. Vikram:
    I hear ya.My sentiments exactly..some understand you that they leave you to sort things out, some just don’t get it..they are like those painful neighbours who just will not give up.

    Lazy_leo:
    LOL..just couldn’t resist na? I still cannot see my comment on your blog..:(

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  10. This happens so much! Really.

    At times, some friends, can be so caring, just when you think you want to be alone, they think you need them the most but aren’t expressing. it can be all very irritating, but, eventually, it’s their love! but, i agree with everything you wrote.

    Beautiful.

    New Year wishes! Enjoy!

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  11. Rohit:
    I know all in the spirit of always being there.Thats what makes it worse.Their love!You don’t want to hurt them, but you don’t want them, then either.
    Thanks..for your wishes.Have a great year ahead.

    Like

  12. Lol, i cleared my browser cache and now i can see not only your comment but also my latest post(which i wasnt able to earlier) …. – went to tools menu on internet explorer and clicked internet options..opened to the general tab….and in the temporary internet files section, clicked delete files. now instead of opening to the same old page, i can load the new page when i type in the url.

    Like

  13. I know what you mean. I SO know what you mean. Those times when you’re stuck in this ‘have to say it, but how to say it’ moment have to be declared illegal and banned I feel! And someone must preferably also pass a shoot-at-sight order on such moments. The only problem I have with silences is that although they work wonders, sometimes tey end up saying too much. I think I shall stop now otherwise I run the danger of posting a comment that is likely to be longer than your post itself! In other news, I think you write really well and methinks it is about time that I linked you! No, this decision has nothing to do with your post on wine!!! 😉 And all the best for your exams and hope you have a super, super new year!! Now I’m really stopping, promise! Cheers! 😀

    Like

  14. Wishfulthinker:
    ^some times they say too much^
    Hmm that or some times create misunderstandings.I am all for shoot-at-sight orders.:D

    Thank you.Wow,that means a lot coming from you.

    Thanks for your wishes.Hope you have an awesome year ahead.

    See you around.

    Like

  15. Today, I went to the beach front with my children.
    I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her
    ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it
    pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off
    topic but I had to tell someone!

    Like

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