I think we have all found ourselves in a situation where we had to make difficult conversation.Either with our friends, collegues,lovers or even parents.
I am not talking of breaking bad news.I am talking of telling people who care about you immensely,that you need time off.That you need your space and no matter how much you love them back, at this precise moment they are the reason you are having a bad day.Telling people that what they said,did or didn’t do hurt your feelings. That their being over concerned,over-involved, over-endorsing is freaking you out
You know that once you have had time, space to think it over,find a new perspective or even vent off you will be fine.But some times to be able to tell that to some one you really care about, can get difficult. One is torn apart between wanting to take care of their own feelings and that of other’s.And one does have the right to one’s own emotions, outburts, dislike.It isn’t a perfect world after all.
I’ve been having such a moment for the past few days.And really nothing has been helping.The cold, the hyper moods and mood swings about new year’s eve, my exams breathing down my neck..Nah nothing is helping.
So I decided to do what every girl has the privilege of doing.I called up my mate and I told her that I needed to biatch.In an instant we were on the phone and I must have ranted non-stop without breathing.I bared my soul and told her about this person creating an emotional turmoil in my life.All the time reminding her and me, more than her; that I love this person but just can’t get to tell them,that I need some time off from them.
She was her generous listening self.After a while, when I was feeling better.She was giving me her gyan (knowledge) for the day.And while she had a non-judgemental, non prejudiced demeanour to her own words,she almost took me to a time when we (my mate and I) were in a similar situation.I did wonder while she was explaing through an old friend’s example that things will be ok, whether it was ‘us’ that she was talking about. We had just phased out of each other’s life at one time and then when we did get back, things were back to normal if not better.
She had this warmth while speaking to me today, that had no hint of being upset,angry instead a promise of a long lasting friendship.
Some thing during that conversation made me realise that you don’t always have to make that difficult conversation.Bitter words needs not be exchanged.Harsh words need not do the rounds.
Some times silences can be more profound than any words spoken.