06.03.08
Putting my feet in my mouth or some such thing.
I am not sure what one calls this feeling.
I gave away my stupidity. I exposed my weakness with my own bare hands. I have left myself vulnerable for at least a day. I have forced myself to relive pain, and anguish which will ultimately lead to anger, more pain and anguish.
I have done this single handedly.
Embarrassment is the emotion that comes to mind. Is it an emotion. A state of being. Can I laugh it off. Tell myself, people do silly things all the time.
Especially when they are unstable. This is an act of instability. Can people see that? Is that how much I have scratched the surface.
What is worrying is that I can’t help but laugh. I did envisage that moment I just had. One in which for once I would have an upper hand. But not to be.
You pay for being sensitive, emotional,unstable. You pay for being yourself. I think I am going to chose laughter over embarrassment. At least some one has got to have fun.
Sometimes Saintly Nick said,
June 3, 2008 at 9:40 pm
I learned long ago that all of us humans are very vulnerable creatures. I believe that it is when we accept that fact and laugh at our actions that we are truly alive.
Jolvin said,
June 4, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Laughing is good especially at yourself. Its a great defense mechanism against vulnerability
educatedunemployed said,
June 5, 2008 at 8:56 am
Nick:
I live then, and well.
Jolvin:
One has to do what it takes to lighten up the burden of one’s actions.
gaizabonts said,
June 6, 2008 at 7:15 am
Yup, you did right. If you do anything, but laugh at it, it becomes a chronic ailment, almost. It tends to be like an old wound that won’t heal; every time it surfaces, you have to laugh at it. I have learnt, it gets pissed off at you and goes away, sometimes, for good!
educatedunemployed said,
June 12, 2008 at 1:39 am
Gaizabonts:
That is reassuring to know.