Doctors have only two kinds of relationships.They are hooked up in medical school and are screwed for the rest of their lives or they screw all their lives and never really hook up.

What ever they do they are never really prepared for the world outside. After joining medical school social development appears to cease. One is always so immersed in what to do next be it exams, licensures, visas, research, travel, academia and patients that one doesn’t know what to do when confronted by another human being.Especially if they are fit and well of the opposite sex and even remotely interested in you in a romantic sort of way.

Don’t blame me, blame the system is my only excuse. After quite a few very good first dates and then no dates at all I accept there is a definite pattern here.

No not all men I meet can be social retards, discourteous, rude and just plain psychopaths. I have been doing some soul searching and this is what I have come up with.

Men are very socially insensitive.

Every man has a fantasy of the kind of woman he would like to date. No you can never match up to it. Don’t hold that against them.This is perfectly reasonable and acceptable in the real world.

A quick call to ‘just say hi’ is a major threat to educated, working well placed single men. They run like they have to protect their virginity.They should be allowed to.

Being asked about your virginity is OK as only you can prove or disprove that myth.If you ask a man you are committing blasphemy as they have no such concept made for men.

There are 48 hours/72 hours/weekly rules in the game of dating. You never call until 48 hours have passed after a date.You appear needy. If you haven’t heard from your date in 72 hours, they are just not that into you. A week and no word, please move on to the next available.It is a game after all.

No calls followed by an uncomfortable e-mail is not rude behaviour or being discourteous, it is a message being shouted out loud for you. Your date is never going to date you again.

Gone are the days that you should make your feelings clear at any point.Chase and only the chase is what keeps a relationship going. Yup, you can thank me for finally introducing you to the latest concept.

Oh and please, no gifts at all.Not even if it is an Indian handicraft book marker for Rs 38.That is like a diamond ring with you on your knees.Can you blame the poor guy to get totally freaked out??!!

I wish I grew up socially when everyone else did.I feel like one big 28 year old with Social Down’s Syndrome. Try and get the pun will ya.

Apologies for the delay in responding to comments.

After a long time I felt that my posts were actually being read and I was getting opinions and not just responses.Frankly that is why I didn’t want to add to it.It is nice to have an exchange of thought process and not just validations.

From quantity to quality of comments is quite a change in the spectrum of expectation I believe.I must be growing up.

Ha! or so you would hope.

The mind is in a wandering state, hence the lack in blogging activity.I am not apologizing, because when I am back in full throttle you would wish I was still on a break.

Last time I visited Philadelphia was 17 years ago.

Amongst discovering bagels with Philadelphia cream cheese, Subway sandwiches, Yoga that trip; I noticed a lot of morning joggers, walkers and office goers who would smile at my dad and me. They would ask us how we were doing and walk, jog, run away before we could respond.

I found it weird.I would generally shy away. Every other ‘American’ approaching me was like another ‘hullo’ attack to my amused self.

My father would generally wave back. A very extrovert gesture for a very introvert man. That would totally amuse me, more so when he would go on to explain that these strange strangers mean no harm.Instead they are nice to visitors. They were only greeting the tourists.

It is part of American custom I had come to believe.  I came to enjoy the American friendliness, accepting nature and love for tourists.

Over years I have come to hear a lot of anti-American-hullo-culture. It has been called put on, forced, superficial, irritating and needless.

May be, it was all that.

17 years later I have walked the same Delaware river sidewalk for the last 3 weeks.Approximately at the same time that I have done in the past with my dad. The walkers, joggers and office goers are still there.But there are no friendly hullos. There are no smiles.

Makes me wonder if this is the price we pay for war, terrorism, recession, ethnic cleansing, hatred and fear. A lot has happened in the last 17 years. I am trying to understand.

But…

Have we made it impossible for us to trust the next human. Is it now impossible to be tolerant of another faith? Can we no longer accept another colour?

I am forced to wonder.

If I did what I was supposed to do, do it right and you did the same so did every one else; this would be a perfect world.One would think.

This world depends upon the amalgamation of our thoughts our actions our consequences, unfortunately. If I may say so.
Then, how does the blame game work? I would really like to know.

Do you remember that kid that always had a smile on her face in your class, who always did her homework, sat on the first bench was a teacher’s pet.She was always game for your stupid pranks.And even when she fell pray to them she didn’t mind doing your home work for you and walk along with you.In spite of you being a bully she thought you were really cool.When you were finally tired of figuring out how to tell this silly happy smiley person that they were being used and stupid, they turn around and share their waffles with you and now all you want to do is throw an apple at the back of their head…

I wonder how they do it.I wonder how they see good in everyone.Don’t they hurt? Do they know people think they are stupid.If they do know that and can still be a bigger person then who is really the lesser being.Does their being so sure of themselves come from an inner security that you and I don’t have? Or do they know no better. Would it be better that way.If we didn’t know any better would we be happier?

Take a amount of rice. Add twice the amount of water. Let the rice soak a bit and then cook it.Perfect rice is made. Fool proof method I’d say. No better method could exist. This is what I saw my mother do for all of my life.

I was introduced to some Sri Lankans who measured the required amount of water with their little finger. The rice turned out just as well. To use that little finger so industrially I was convinced you needed to be a Sri lankan. I couldn’t have ever done it.

Then of course, Filipinos happened to me. They believe a girl is ready to get married when she can get her rice right.My deliberations would crack up my Filipino friends.They wash the rice fill the container with as much water that takes their fancy do a slight waving motion and voila rice is ready.Each grain separated, well cooked and beautiful.

There is always a thin line between what you know you can do and do it right; and what you didn’t know but you could still do it, if only you believed in yourself.

Go for it.Reach the stars I say.There is always more than one way to cook the rice right.

I am amused.I really am.

I have carefully and deliberately gone over each and every chat, conversation, email, word, expressions exchanged which culminated in the course turning incident.

I don’t see any flaws.May be I didn’t want to.Now I wont. It isn’t worth the effort I know.

I should be angry, may be even upset.I am disappointed, not angry.If I was I wouldn’t have narrated the incident like it was an amusing story.

I believe in learning from other’s mistakes more than my own.In this case I have enough of my own first hand experience.

I don’t think I am jumping the gun here. It is definitely personal.

Gone are the days I would forgive, let go. Now I only forget.

Details of what happened aren’t important here.What is relevant is that it has happened to you too. Everything that you did to reach a point was right and yet when you reach there, all outcomes aren’t what you had expected. Oh well such is life.

Just when you decide you have learnt all you need to know, life teaches you another lesson.

Just when you think things can’t get any worse, they do.

Just when you reason with the most unreasonable, bizzare takes a whole new meaning.

Just when you think you think you know all about pain, pain gets the better of you.

Just when you thought that was the last of EU’s gibberish I end up writing another post.

I have always wanted a dog for a pet. I took the saying a dog is man’s best friend very seriously.My family doesn’t approve.I think the main fear is not being able to understand them.But then again most of us never understand humans either.

I am now living with more dogs and less people.Actually my addition into this place makes us an equal count.And I am thrilled.My mother is constantly asking me if I am ok with the mess they create as I am known to be finicky with wanting things clean and in order.

Much to my own surprise, most house pets as I understand now are well trained.They know when they will get food.When are they allowed to go to the toilet.Where is their water bowl.They know they have limits and they generally stay off limits.Some times they get playful, but I think anyone should be allowed to have some fun some times.

Irrespective of whether you are pampering them, or are their provider for them they come to you and demand their attention.For me that has been the most heartening experience. Every morning while I have my tea 2 huge boys come and give my knee a nudge.I give them a little pat and stroke their back and say good morning to them.They run away happily. And we are all set to have a great day.Or if they are thirsty, they indicate towards their water bowl.Now I know when they are demanding for food or they desperately need that walk which promises them sweet release.

I don’t remember the last time I told some body I wanted to be loved by them and I wasn’t made to feel stupid desperate or needy.I have distant memories of people being very gracious about it and actually feeling happy that I wanted to be a part of their lives.

It makes you think, where did we as humans go wrong? Why is it so hard for us to be honest about how we feel and what we want.Why are we so concious about our desires, some times even embarrassed.

If only I can find the same freedom again.

Intention: What is in the thought, speech and actions. Each could differ, but which one has the most effect?The one that cannot be seen matters the most.What you think, is what you become.

Communication:This isn’t just about words. My actions or some thing as trivial as my facial expressions can change the entire meaning.

Be mindful, attentive and remember you are fantastic.