11.25.06
I think..
I have more to talk with a person I speak to regularly like 2 times a week or even weekly,but I am at a complete loss of words when catching up with some one after 3 months.
What do you think?
About me, my thoughts and randomness.
Posted in Life at 6:20 pm by det-res
I have more to talk with a person I speak to regularly like 2 times a week or even weekly,but I am at a complete loss of words when catching up with some one after 3 months.
ps said,
November 26, 2006 at 12:49 pm
That is why you need to call me more often.
Gangadhar said,
November 26, 2006 at 4:43 pm
may be because you actually cannot reconcile your feelings..
Gangadhar said,
November 26, 2006 at 4:45 pm
what i meant..some compatibilty problems..
Rohit Talwar said,
November 26, 2006 at 11:06 pm
Happens with me too! At times there’s a lot to talk about and sometimes there isn’t!
greensatya said,
November 26, 2006 at 11:18 pm
My comment to this can be a whole post in itself. The simplest way to say is that if you love talking to someone then it won’t be 3 months for the conversation. So the observation is correct but not the premise.
educatedunemployed said,
November 27, 2006 at 1:35 am
PS:
Hours spent in chatting counts too you know…:)
Gangadhar:
That could be a reason.But I was talking of 2 good friends.One calls you after 3 months and the other you regularly tell her/him every minute detail of your life.Do you ever find yourself unable to find any conversation worth speaking about with your friend who has called afetr 36/9 months.Considering more time has lapsed, shouldn’t there be more to talk to?
Rohit:
That is a given with anyone.
Greensatya:
When I was in UK I used to call a very good friend of mine in the US every weekend and we would chat for atleast an hour and we always had a lot to talk about.I still lover her and talking to her.Since I have come to India, 4 months now.We have barely spoken all of 4 times.Are you saying that is because I don’t love talking to her any more.Or she doesn’t? I know for a fact it is because of inabilty to coordinate our timings as well.
Are you actually suggesting that we don’t drift apart from people we like talking to? Could be physical distance, monetary issues.And that it would be a total farce to be happy to meet them lets say 6 months from now or may be even a year from now.
Or do you think people only get distanced because of animosity?
Little Miss Muffet said,
November 27, 2006 at 1:36 am
well i guess it depends on who the person is..if u two are on the same wavelength even over a period of time, u will have tons of delightful stories to exchange..i have a close friend who i got back in touch with after a yr, and the time apart didn’t seem to matter at all..and i have friends whom i keep talking to and sometimes i really have to struggle to fill the silences..
Gangadhar said,
November 27, 2006 at 8:48 am
yeah..i feel it sometimes..not only with my friends..but with my own sis too..These days whenevr she calls me we both use to say “what else?”,more often..lolzz..This doesn’t mean that i don’t love my own sister.
I think it is natural that the interests of people, even best friends, drift apart over time. The key thing is to consider if what the real substance of the friendship is intact. That is a genuine desire of spending time with, helping, supporting, having fun with, and drawing support from is still mutual.
Sometimes Saintly Nick said,
November 27, 2006 at 9:03 am
Are there words you HAVE to speak to the person? If not, I allow them to have the floor for a bit—at least until you’re back on the same wave length.
educatedunemployed said,
November 27, 2006 at 1:39 pm
Little Miss Muffet:
Wow, Im having a hard time finding those wavelengths.I guess there is a lot more to hold on to.
Gangadhar:
Yeah a coversation with more of what else than real words, spell put a doomed conversation.For me it is the perfect time to say bye.
Nick:
Nope they there isn’t any compulsion with anything.That strategy might be worth a try.
greensatya said,
November 27, 2006 at 5:48 pm
Nothwithstanding exceptions, normally if you like talking to some person then you will have lot of stuff to talk to. May be innane conversation like Polar ice cap, etc. But if you dont like talking to someone then topics will be sparse. Now this can happen with the same person, one can talk for 10 or 12 hours at a stretch and later may find 5 minutes conversation quite difficult.
With very good friends, when people meet up after a year or 6 months, it usually takes uninterrupted hours of conversation to actually catch up.
So ‘generally’ speaking, conversation has less to do with the stuff to talk with, but whom you are talking to.
adi said,
November 27, 2006 at 6:56 pm
that means, you need to think…
kaisi doc?
Archster said,
November 27, 2006 at 7:19 pm
i think likewise!
Abaniko said,
November 27, 2006 at 10:40 pm
You can always take on the role of a listener if you want. Conversation doesn’t mean two persons talking anyway. Just be yourself. Good luck.
educatedunemployed said,
November 27, 2006 at 11:23 pm
Greensatya:
I find you contradicting your own statement.Please refer to first and last paragraph.
How ever I don’t find likabilty of a person the same thing as compatibilty comparable with topics to talk about.Even if the person is very likable, of you have a large gap due to any circumstance, there is always a dearth of topics.
I do believe there has to be a healthy mixture of all the factors.No matter how much I love/loved a person, I find it easier to get into a conversation with some one I talk to regularly than with some one I haven’t spoken to in weeks or months.
educatedunemployed said,
November 27, 2006 at 11:24 pm
Adi:
Don’t we all?
Archster:
And this isn’t the only reason I am glad you are back.
Abaniko:
True that.
karuna said,
November 28, 2006 at 12:18 am
I think you are absolutely right.
I think we live in a paradox.
I think.
Isn’t it cool that I can do that?
educatedunemployed said,
November 28, 2006 at 12:24 am
Karuna:
I always thought you can think and that you think a lot most times.:)
Grey Shades said,
November 28, 2006 at 2:11 pm
With some folks its the body language, with some its words and with some its neither!
Casablanca said,
November 28, 2006 at 4:03 pm
Sorry I cant identify with you here… I talk wayyyyy too much. Doesnt matter who the audience is
educatedunemployed said,
November 28, 2006 at 4:16 pm
Grey Shades:
Some times it is our own inhibitions.
Casablanca:
And you can talk about the little things that really matter to you or bother you like a gas leak or your room mate.Or is it small talk you are talking about.Because I know I am the queen of small talk.I was talking of some thing more intimate here.(No lewd intentions btw)
Casablanca said,
November 29, 2006 at 11:34 am
No I wasnt referring to small talk. Genuine conversations… till I probably bore the other person