05.03.06
Give life some thought!
Courtesy Cutting the Chai. Had seen this on the above mentioned blog.I was impressed some one cared.Then saw this and realised why and how this thought was born. I can pretend I am not affected.I might never even be.But dowry and related mishap isn’t a thing of the past neither is female foeticide.Do take a moment and reflect.
Ravi said,
May 4, 2006 at 12:12 am
Ban marriages??
Prerona said,
May 4, 2006 at 12:20 am
lol at Ravi’s thought
Nice poster
educatedunemployed said,
May 4, 2006 at 12:40 am
Ravi:
Is that a solution?
Prerona:
An even nicer effort.By Soumyadip,
http://soumyadipc.blogspot.com/
Rohit Talwar said,
May 4, 2006 at 1:02 am
I dont know how people have the nerve to kill a baby. I wish they are burned alive. They don’t deserve to breathe the air God has given for everyone. If they think they can stop an innocent kid…they should be burned. Wait, did I say burned alive? Yes I did. ALIVE.
Feel like abusing, but I can’t pollute your comment space, EU.
Immigrant in Canada said,
May 4, 2006 at 2:15 am
isn’t it a vicious cycle?
A daughter is a burden to her parents( i know, personally… I am a daughter)..because how much ever she is educated, those educated guys wants to marry her needs/requires/ask/beg/plead/demandfor dowry.. yeah i even met one ideologist who said ‘I am against dowry, but my parents wants it’!!!
Soumyadip said,
May 4, 2006 at 8:36 am
When I was in school and our teachers would tell us about these inhuman practices, I felt that they happened in only the backward and remote places. But with the aid of modern technology, our big cities are the hub of something very wrong in our society. Are these practices prevalent amongst the South Asian diaspora in the west too?
The movie Maatrubhoomi may be fiction, but it shows a picture not very far away from reality. The trends are disturbing, very disturbing.
Ravi said,
May 4, 2006 at 10:30 am
Isnt tht the most effective solution??
How…no wedding->No question of dowry..no dowry problem->no female foeticide(assuming parents of a girl child dread dowry the most)….
i know i know…marriage is an integral part of the society..bla bla….u see its in the human beings and this farce of a thing called the society..’have an apple in the hand and eat it too’…wouldnt it be better to worry about either the flies around the apple or the tooth decay, rather than both….they say ‘NO’….hv forethought, preserve the apple and ‘Whts the apple for, if not to be eaten?’
Bottom line is….eat the apple, only the unlucky few will get tooth ache, cant help tht
Arz000n said,
May 4, 2006 at 1:47 pm
Ban marriages..no no .. pls…
I wanna marry first…uske baad jo kuch bhi karna hai kar lo
educatedunemployed said,
May 4, 2006 at 1:50 pm
Rohit:
That is a very strong emotion indeed.Well killing babies = abortions?A different discussion, killing an unborn child because she is a girl is another disgrace altogether.Either way its atrocious.
Immigrant in Canada:
I’ll beg to differ.I am a daughter too.I have never been made to feel a burden.My family has come accross those ideologists too, and we cannot help but wonder social evolution takes a lot longer than biological evolution.I wont deny, we seem to be getting the raw deal here..But not all is lost.I hope.
educatedunemployed said,
May 4, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Soumyadip:
Well if you agree, it isn’t about the mere act but the attitude and prejudice which seems to have permeated a lot further than backward and remote places.
Here, my only interaction with Asian community is the limited family and work related.I haven’t come accross such prejudices towards female child, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t felt similar undercurrents.I guess it is the same mental make-up they brought to this country 50 years ago.
I think I’ll have to add Maatrubhoomi in my must watch list.
Ravi:
Being an ostrich didn’t help anyone.But if it works for you..good for you.
Arz000n:
Don’t you worry.We aren’t going there.That is more like the Microsoft service centre lots of info but of no use.You know what I mean..:p
greensatya said,
May 4, 2006 at 5:06 pm
Hello, I have a different opinion of all this. May be I am eccentric. But you see all these problems are due to hypcrisy of our same Indian culture whose trumpet we keep blowing.
Eve-teasing (cat-calling), female foeticide/infanticide and dowry are all related to one root cause. They are due to our very own ‘hypocrite’ culture.
Where in the hell do parents decide whom to marry their child to ? where in the hell are boys and girls kept separate and not allowed to mix freely? Yeah in our own India.
Correct our culture and all of the above will go away by itself.
Ravi said,
May 4, 2006 at 5:20 pm
Ostrich!!….did i ever say the problem doesnt exist??
Just one question for you….Do u think people who read this blog (and their friends) are the kind who would take dowry or kill an unborn child?
FYI…most, i repeat *most* of these things happen in rural india….ppl wouldnt give a rat’s a** about witty posters and globe messages….ask them if they fear anything other than police
truth is…only an ostrich survives in the desert…a pea cock needs an oasis…
Ravi said,
May 4, 2006 at 5:23 pm
>Greensatya
you should learn about the culture in coutries like Pak, Bangla my frnd….u wud agree this place is not tht bad afterall…
educatedunemployed said,
May 4, 2006 at 5:36 pm
Greensatya:
No one contested the fact that hypocrisy is one of the root causes.
Ravi:
I urge you to keep your language suitable.I am the only one who is allowed any profanity on my blog.Your idea of banning marriages comes across as that of an ostrich approach who hides his head hoping the danger will pass him by.No need to get riled up.Its unfortunate to learn that you too like millions of us think we are not affected by atrocities in our society.You will be surprised at who and who doesn’t do what in the name of tradition like Greensatya pointed out.Its always better to look within one’s self rather than point faults at others.We don’t need to compare ourselves with what is worse to feel good about ourselves, rather strive to improve towards the better.
Sher-e-Jalandhar said,
May 4, 2006 at 8:16 pm
I think I’ll have to comment on the comments rather than the post.
GS,u r not eccentric. But you err in pointing the finger on Indian culture.
EU, /I urge you to keep your language suitable.I am the only one who is allowed any profanity on my blog/
wud have liked a lot if u had practised it on my blog once. Thats to it.
Cheers!
Obi Wan said,
May 4, 2006 at 9:12 pm
Will take the SEJ route.
Ravi: With all due respect, I suggest you look around you and see what ‘heavenly’ urban India are you talking about? I have seen dowry harassment cases amongst well-educated and rich people in Delhi. I have seen mom-in-laws getting hyper because their ‘bahu’ gave birth to a female as the 1st child, again in Delhi. I have seen women being pressurized to ‘keep trying’ for a boy, even though they already have 3 daughters, again in Delhi. I have seen a father belonging to an elite family threatening to disown his only son if he marries outside his caste, again, surprise surprise, in Delhi! And a Quiz question to wind up: Which ‘village’ is known as the ‘rape capital’ of India?
We take great pride in our urbanity, but tell me, where do riots happen first? Who are the most blood-thirsty people? Some of the worst riots in recent times have happened in Delhi(1984), Bombay(1992-93), and Ahmedabad/Baroda! Urban India is no ‘better’ than it’s rural counterpart my friend!
Ravi said,
May 4, 2006 at 9:59 pm
Sorry about the language Doc….shall maintain the sanity henceforth
to greensatya’s point, i just said it isnt only in india but elsewhere too…
i agree we should strive for the betterment….but you can only better yourself…and your perimeter…slowly but surely the perimeter increases…its just a matter of time
IMHO, all these public announcement or awareness dont really affect the orthodox..
>Obi Wan
well, in the 23 years of urban living i have never come across dowry harrasment or fetocide…well i guess i hvnt looked deep in the society….
vishwa said,
May 4, 2006 at 11:50 pm
Edu…this mindset favouring a male child never changes simply because we’re living in a patriarchial society. I know people who’ve had six-seven daughters hoping for a son–God knows how these children grow up, looking at the economic condition of the parents. My neighbour has two small sons–recently he forced his wife to abort —You know why. And he’s an educated man, living right here in Bangalore—not a rustic from rural india.
Marriage and dowry definetly play a major role in this trend of people favouring sons to daughters. Even in marriages where dowry doesn’t exist, the bride’s father is expected to bear all the expenses, and kowtow to the whims and fancies of the grooms’ people. It’s sickening and disgusting. The only thing we as individuals can do is to make sure that we don’t allow this to happen when our turn comes( either as grooms or brides), and also to spread the word around to those who are sane enough to listen.
It’s funny but true— i’m the third kid to my parents, with two elder sisters. If my parents had had a son after the first daughter, maybe i’d not have been born.
Vikram said,
May 5, 2006 at 2:58 am
Female infanticide is the worst thing ever to happen. I’m shocked it still happens in some parts of India. Dowry is another story. I wonder who even came up with these ideas. How can anyone consider a man to be superior to the woman when it comes to marriage? Some questions will just remain unanswered.
Infanticide based on the sex of the baby is the most horrible thing.
Anyway, even if we discuss this issue indefinetly, it is not going to reach the people it is supposed to reach. Even if it reaches, they will turn a deaf ear to this issue.
It just sucks.
educatedunemployed said,
May 5, 2006 at 1:02 pm
SEJ:
Sure.
Obiwan:
True that, I’ve seen and heard enough as well.The occurrences may not be as blatant,but they have happened.
Ravi:
Being orthodox is in the mind set and goes beyond geographical parameters.I don’t blame you for not being exposed to some thing like that, neither was I until very recently.That doesn’t however allow us to turn a blind eye to an existent issue that plagues our society.
Vishwa:
Well dowry came about when women didnt work or have their financial independance, and hence parents gave the daughter some of their savings in form of insurance.It was called Stree Dhan where I come from, which baically means only the lady has any right over it and not the man.That these practices have been twisted to the likes of the greedy is sad indeed.But in today’s world, when the women are so much more independant even better placed sometimes, a thing like dowry comes off as ridiculous.I would like to give some credit to some awesome men and families here who have been more than fair to the women in their life,but I’ll agree its far rarer than one would hope.
Ah well, gald you have 2 sisters.We really wouldn’t be having this discussion otherwise now would we??
Vikram:
True, like Ravi said most people that read this blog or actually who are intuned to reality aren’t really the one’s who either affected or indulgent of the issues at hand.The point is we are aware of these atrocities and voice our opinion when needed,and stand by our conviction if it comes to that.
Rohit Talwar said,
May 5, 2006 at 9:46 pm
Yea.. I agree there. Damn, I wish all the public service campaigns that are run by various organisations would work someday. Only God can help change the mindsets of those who perform such disgusting practices.
Sometimes Saintly Nick said,
May 6, 2006 at 4:22 am
Thanks. I believe it is important that people care. For example, I heard the other day that during the past year one of the U.S. TV networks dedicated 26 times more news time to Michael Jackson’s legal woes than to the genocide in Sudan.
karuna said,
May 6, 2006 at 12:49 pm
This is cool.
We’ve all thought about it, lamented and done…?
Its amazing that a society that claims to have evolved can be as barbaric as this.
educatedunemployed said,
May 6, 2006 at 2:39 pm
Rohit:
I think enhancing literacy can go a long way too.Bhagwan ko aur bahut kaam hain, unhe rehne do.
(God has a lot more work to do, should leave him alone)
Sometimes Saintly Nick:
Well its only those few who do.But society has survived this for the longest time.I really haven’t lost my hope.
Karuna:
Being concious of something or keeping it at the back of our minds, too is doing some thing or being involved,I think.
Rohit Talwar said,
May 6, 2006 at 2:47 pm
Bhagwan ko aur kaunsa kaam hai? He seems to be too busy with the internal politics..I think wahan bhi elections aa rahe hain.
Otherwise He’d have done what He should have, by now..
Rita said,
May 6, 2006 at 7:21 pm
Oh dowry and female foeticide are very much present even today!
This is need a good move
educatedunemployed said,
May 6, 2006 at 7:40 pm
Rohit:
Hmm,have you seen that movie Bruce Almighty..might change your views about god and what he should and shouldn’t do.:)
Rita:
When I did my internship not so long ago in Mumbai,I was shocked to see the number of abortions due to songraphic detections of a female fetus.Interestingly enough in the same year the Maharashtra government implemented a ban on ultra sonographic detections of the sex of the child to be reported by law.
Rohit Talwar said,
May 7, 2006 at 10:26 am
Yeah!
And, even though the ultra-sonographic detections of the sex of the child is not allowed anymore, and clinics and doctors can be punished and all that, it still is happening. We did a project on this sometime back lasy year, and I was particularly shocked to see the ways in which people have continued the practice. It sucks. They have non-verbal techniques to hint what’s the sex of the child going to be. And they do what they shouldn’t eventually. Losers.
Prerona said,
May 8, 2006 at 2:37 am
Nice
educatedunemployed said,
May 8, 2006 at 3:19 pm
Rohit:
I can totally believe you.
Prerona:
:), I thougght so too.
Rohit Talwar said,
May 8, 2006 at 6:16 pm
You’ve also come across all this? All that sucks. Grrr