Nightfall

Tells me…

It will soon be day.

This winter

Tells me…

Spring is on its way.

Past failure

Tells me….

I can do it,

If only I tried again.

Closing distance

Tells me….

I have come a long way.

I fear not failure pain or misery

For they reassure me….

I haven’t given up yet.

I will survive,

No matter what comes my way.

This time its Ash and Sher-e-Jalandher that have put me to the task.

Define my perfect lover in 8 points.My personal slave with a great bod, always ready for action and who will take care of daily chores would be my ideal..But who am I kidding.

For a person who is dead sure of everything she wants this one was a bummer.I know exactly what I don’t want in my partner but not the other way round.Anyway..

So here are the rules for this tag:
The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
Need to mention the sex of the target.
Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged.
If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again.

Target:Male
with no bisexual,cross dresser tendencies, who does not believe in taking the concept of metrosexuality too far. If he could just be a man..that will definitely be a good start.

1.Respects the woman I am, and totally loves and adores the little girl in me.

2.Enjoys books,movies, music,travel, food and has a healthy and huge appetite for each.

3.Is passionate about at least one thing in life,which goes beyond him him him and me.

4.Has done away with smoking, excess facial hair and disrespect.

5.Is mature enough to know when to pull the reins and when its ok to let go.

6.Has an eccentric, crazy, chilled out side to him which knows real joys come in small packages.

7.Accomplished in conversation,humour, and can interest me intellectually.

8.Bonus point: Loves cricket, ice-cream and me..unconditionally.NOT necessarily in that order.

HA! now that explains a lot of things…

Well Im not tagging anyone for this one.Please feel free to take it if you fancy it.

Enjoy!!

When you add a person to your chatting screen..
Logic says:That is all they are.Your chat buddies.
I had added another friend to my life.

You have known some one since school.
Logic says:Revelling in that sense of security is a dangerous path to tread on.
I felt very very secure.

You haven’t lived in the same city,hell same continent for the last 10 years.
Logic says:The chances that you will in the future are very slim.
I hope that some day we will.

If things are too good to be true.
Logic says:They probably are, and may not last.
I believed it was all true and it was all good.

Things are flowing smoothly between the 2 of you.
Logic says:Don’t try to change the flow.
I try anyway.

Some not-so-nice conversations, and then no conversations later.
Logic says:Let go,move on.
I can’t, I don’t.

I continue to visit his blog.
Logic says:Don’t.Respect his wishes.
Ha, and I have thrown my 2 cents all over his page.

To this..
Logic says:Atleast remain detached will ya.He pretends you don’t exist.
But some thing about last night’s post…

I couldn’t pretend to be detached.I was already crying.Why was life being unfair in that part of the world.
Logic says:Don’t get impulsive.Don’t let emotions take you over.
He can take care of himself.He needs a friend alright, but that friend isn’t you.
And you don’t want to cause him more grief than he is already dealing with.

To hell with logic I say.
I call.We talk.He sounds happy to hear from me. Subdued voice,but composed.A pillar of strength that boy.A pillar even I have leaned on more than one occasion. And I am still breathing.He didn’t kill me after all.
Logic says:I should be happy now .
I cry even more later.This time uncontrollably.I have missed my friend I realise.Is life upto its tricks again?Bring it on,I say.

Heard his voice after so long.
Ha,logic goes for a toss.His voice can have that effect on you.
Whatever made me think he was alone when he will always find a friend in me.

I am glad I dialled his number.I hope he was too.
Logic says:

Ahoy! Ms Logic,why do you keep coming back to say some thing.Can’t you see,I am not listening to you, and you don’t make sense to me.

I came across Accidental Fame Junkie from Rohit’s Blog.He does have a long list and some awesome bloggers on it.

After several fantastic posts and a few comments later.I decided to blog roll AFJ.I don’t know the laws of the blogosphere yet.But I think its nice to tell people that they are going to be a permanent feature on my blog because I like what they write.

So I go back to AFJ’s blog only to find there is another tag doing the rounds and that I have been tagged.I did get very excited.I will lay down the rules in a bit and oh, watch out people because this time I get to tag 9 people..which I will do gladly.

But I do want to vent out why it took me so long to come up with what I did eventually.
I was blog hopping to see what other’s had come up with.Abaniko touched upon what was my first thought process.And he has done an awesome job of it.Atul Sabnis, well my creativity needs to go leaps and bounds and pole vaulting to match his, or even Afj’s for that matter.I did think of a very dramatic plot.But it got too dramatic for my own comfort and Twilight Fairy has covered it too.But what really freaked me out was Obi wan’s post on it. It is almost a mirror image of what I finally had in my mind.

So I was left with no option but to talk shop.Wont write any disclaimers here.It isn’t my fault that all my creative ideas aren’t original anymore.

Now for the actual tag: Rules from AfJ’s post.

The rules:
(1) write a 100-to-200-word entry using the following words: I, me, blow job, grapes, random, power, loneliness, water, robot and blue;
(2) use these words once and only once; and of course
(3) the entry should make sense.

So here I go:

It didn’t have to turn out this way.The therapy had kicked in.Hope was building up slowly.We were getting there.We were almost at the hilt.Then some thing went wrong.Horribly wrong.Just at the last miunte.Almost like a promising blowjob left unfinished.

There is nothing but pain in her eyes.She just smiles on being offered grapes and water.Her smile defying the loneliness that she feels within.

Why does helplessness hurt so much?Can one not get away from feeling this pain?Be a robot of sorts.Do the job.No unanswered questions.No feelings.

Now wasn’t the time for random thoughts.Now was the time to focus.Time to face reality.Time to face her.

Gathering all the strentgh and power from within,I look into those misty blue eyes .Just then she asks, “Why me?”

140 words….Let me know if it makes any sense..

Even if it does not….I am going to tag you..Do try it guys.It was challenging but fun.

Casablanca
Dwaipayan
Echoes
Ginkgo
Mirch Masala
Puneet
Sher-e-Jalandher
Thanu
Wishfulthinker

Enjoy !!

You thought you had no time
to spare,
When all I wanted was a moment,
that was mine.
For a lifetime to cherish.

You feared you had no feelings,
left in you.
When all I wanted was a single true emotion,
between us.
That time couldn’t diminish.

You told me you had nothing left to give,
except emptiness.
When all I wanted was hope, that some day,
in your heart,
love will flourish.

You don’t have to give, make an effort,
or even try.
All I want is for you to know,
my world is a better place,
because you walked by.

So Vikram decided to invite me over for dinner.He plans to endure my company for a second time.Yeays I like the attention…but then he gave me home-work…hmph!

I have to list 6 people I would like to invite over for dinner and give the reasons why.

Here goes my invitation…and why it would totally be my pleasure to meet them over for dinner.

Ankur
Talent and humility personified.The only man I know who is capable of getting an orgasm on Meethi lassi.

Ash
She is a girl,she is a woman.She makes me smile,some times shed a tear.She reaches out to so many..and yet she makes me feel so dear.

Casablanca
She defines the woman of substance.She is proud to be a woman,and carries all the baggage that comes with it,with utmost grace.

English August
It would be an honour to meet this person.A: has a way with words, emotions that one is tempted to think he is a she…is so impartial to life that one wonders whether he is indeed a he.

Rohit
He has a smile to die for.He exudes warmth and affection with his words, photographs and by just being him.At his tender age, he seems to have the wisdom of the world and yet his innocence isn’t lost.I think he would make fun company at any setting.

Wishfulthinker
A juggler of words and a jester at heart.One glance at him and you know there is a lot more to that happy painted face.I would love to share a drink,after dinner with him.He has redefined the art of drinking.

Oh and since its a table for 6 people only,Yogi..we will just have to meet another time.I haven’t met some one who loves cricket the way you do.I am amazed how you detach yourself from the dirty politics and enjoy cricket for the game that it is.

Heee haaaa (Al Pacino style in Scent of a woman)…now I get to pass on the tag…So here you go…

Ash
Ginkgo
Rohit

Have fun!!!

Ya thats right?And whats wrong with it?

Years back, 6th grade I think..US led Kuwait-Iraq war was it?I was asked by a mass communication student?What I thought about the war?Did I think it was for the right reasons?

I thought it wasn’t my problem.It was not my war.Well to be honest I don’t think I thought about it.

The mass-com student was almost angered by my ignorance of the situation.She was amused that I didn’t as much as want to think.That I didn’t think it was my problem.That because there was a problem in a far away land I didn’t think it would affect me.

She said, it was not a question of right or wrong?It was a matter of principles.Did I have any?

The only thing that did affect me..was a class mate whose father worked in Kuwait, was visibly disturbed in the assembly.She must have sobbed the whole day.And the only thing I figured was; that morning the family had lost all forms of communication and they were praying for his safe return home.I was selfishly happy that my own father worked in the same city.And I was confident I will see him at home that evening.

All of 13 years,I was upset she judged me.

I am more informed now.I understand better?I keep abreast of latest current affairs.My obsesion with ‘news’ almost freaks me out.I know I am opinionated.No one is asking, but I have formed them anyway.

I don’t know if thats right or wrong?Should I just concentrate on my life, me, my family, my loved ones?Or do I have a social obligation?Do I have a political one?Do I have an obligation to think,understand,feel, realise,voice my opinion,make a difference because I believe I can.

Things bother me.I am angered that a handful few think they can topsy turvy the life of millions who have rested their faith in them.I am amused how thousands cannot see through the dirty games a few powerful of the powerful play.I am awed,how a handful can make or break nations, can make an entire generation believe in something.I am saddened by disaster and even more frustrated by my own handicaps.

My life that is everything to me..and should be, some times seems of minuscle importance.

All of 27, I have learnt to think.I am opinionated.Are you?

What I thought then and what I know now…

So I got regular at the gym.I enjoy it.I even took up a proper personal training session.I don’t see much change on the weighing scales but I know my body is responding.And I totally love the new me…Actually I never disliked the old me either..Only this time I have realised a few things.

There is no point being shy or embarassed about being the most unfit person on the gym floor.
The fact that you are there, makes all the difference.

It is a place majority people use to socialise..especially in this part of the world.You don’t need to.Only conversing you need is setting goals on the Cardiovascular machines.

Not graceful on the treadmill??No worries .No one is watching.They are all concentrating on their own calorie burnt levels and heart rates..Trust me each one is to their own.

Those machines aren’t gizmos for the fit only..they are actually programmed for beginners like you and me.

If that man who runs at 13 miles an hour for 30 minutes straight damages your motivation.Ask him how he started off.Each one has to build up.You have to take the first step.

And no they weren’t born with that gorgeous bod.

If its taken you 20 odd years to get as unfit,bulky then results aren’t going to show in 20 days.Give yourself time.

Weight training, body pump,aqua aerobics,pilates aren’t just fancy names to make money by the gym.They have actual science involved.Each one challenges a different aspect in you.

Its nice to challenge your body.It will surprise you by what it can endure.

Hmm, those mirrors are not just to be your narcissist best.One can actually use them to ensure proper training technique during a work out.

Don’t shy away.Workout where there are lots of people.Sweating, panting, groaning, moaning ..has never been more motivating.

Not a good idea to put on ear plugs,get oblivious to everyone around you and sing James Blunt..You are beautiful… at the top of your voice.Especially if you croak better than he does.

Oh, and yeays I actually have a cuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttt in my arm muscles..I can actually make my muscles twitch on my command.They don’t just wobble away…I am gaining control….

The back of my jeans has never looked better.

And yes I am addicted..

There is a mirror that adorns my wall.
It is my treasure, it is my trophy.

It was me who picked you,from the many.
Or was it you?
I am happy to believe, we chose each other mutually.

I have seen my reflection in you a thousand times.
Some times good, some times bad.
Each time a new story told.

There is a thin line that separates us,
A distance we both covet.

The reflections have changed over the years.
Some times I fail to recognise what I see.
Is it you or is it me?

Whatever the weather,what ever the change.
You have stood strong.
You have stood by me.

I have begun to feel that time is taking its toll.
Are those cracks upto the core?
New sentiments waiting to unfold?

I am going to give you time.
I am going to give you space.
For recovery.

Because I like you..my friend.

The mirror that adorns my wall.
My treasure, my trophy.

I stepped into the train.My eyes fell upon him.Will this be my lucky day?Will he talk to me?I must have caught his attention.Because he smiled.I noticed his eyes were a beautiful hue of emerald to green with changing shades of brown when the sun’s rays hit his eyes.I was caught off gaurd when he said,Hi.I responded with a hello.Going home,he enquired?Yes, and you I asked?Going to my mother’s.Thats a nice way to start the year.Yes!He smiled again.How I could melt just there.His golden locks fell over his face so beautifully..so angelic.Are all these your bags,he asks?No just this one,I say?The black one?I like your bag,he tells me.I like yours,I say pointing to the purple bag that he was sporting.Thats my mother’s.I am looking after her bags for her.I smile..Are you hungry?Would you like a cookie?No thanks I say,I have had my breakfast.I have a chocolate muffin?Would you like that.I refuse politely.What about a drink he enquires?I just smile.I have orange juice.I like orange juice he proclaims.Do you he asks?Yes I like it too.But I am fine thank-you…The train approaches a station.Do you have to go?Yes thats my station.I hope we meet again..I hope so too.

I stepped out, smiling,feeling nice.

Barely 2 feet off the ground and all of 2 years and 4 months.What a charmer I think.