This post does contain some material that may not be suitable to certain audiences.If you cannot handle graphic details of medical life,I would advise you against reading this post.

When I was going to join medical school, the experienced had warned me that anatomy dissections are not the most pleasant experiences and that it would be ok to faint.That never happened.I was much too eager a learner and surgery was what I always wanted to do.So I was a bit too keen.But faint in medical school(in Nepal), I did…

The first time was in Physiology lab.We had to do blood tests example:make slides to see different blood cells, or blood grouping.For that, yours truly had to get her own sample.Everyone endured the torture, but in a class of 105 students.Only 2 of us actually fainted while making the “prick”. The other chap..RSM..thin lanky dude from Hyderabad.It was almost an insult to know that he was the only other soul that had the same effect as me.

A year later, in Western Regional Hospital, Pokhara during Pediatric clinic, we were going to see our first lumbar puncture.The first time is always bad!!This young little 11-12 year old thing lay on the examination table while 25 of us eager going-to-be doctors were clamouring to see how this rather uncomfortable for the patient, tricky for the doctor, but invaluable procedure/investigation was going to be performed. Anesthesia (an extra injection of drugs that help numb the area, administered before the procedure) is a luxury, not many can afford in that part of the world.So this girl curled like a ball, lay on her side by the edge of the bed.She is warned that there will be a huge needle introduced into her back.”It will hurt he”, said gently , “but it will be over before you will realise”.The girl didn’t flinch,but I was on the floor.Fainted! The only concern of my ever so compassionate batch fellows was whether I had fallen on any dirty rubbish. One can only imagine what one finds on dirty hospital floors.

Obstetrics and Gynaecology was a night mare for most of my batch mates.Ah! not because its yucky(no offense to anyone..but thats the only adjective I can think of for that branch of medicine)..because madam did a fainting stunt every freaking labour posting.The first sign of that kiddo popping out and I would be on the floor.Every single of those 20 days,I braved myself to go to labour posting,while my group of 20 would pray for themselves.They were kind enough to take turns.Two in front of me and one behind me..lest I fall into the poor woman’s gaping hole… It did not get any better.The first time watching a caesarean section in the Operation theatre(fourth year),I was quite good the first 30 minutes or so.Right when the surgeon put her hands into the womb to scoop the baby out, I was on the floor again.That day I was quite unceremoniously thrown out of the O.T.But I wasn’t quite alone this time.A guy soon followed me.He agreed with me that all he could think of was that a baby coming out of the tummy of a lady was very alien and not cool at all.And really what is the big thrill about the sex of the child?They all come out the same way???!!!!!

When I should have been worried about my regular fainting rituals, I was busy cussing at ObGyn.I totally believed it was the fault of the cursed vagina and everything attached to it.

I graduated out of med school and came to do internship back in Mumbai.One of the requirements was to do 3 months rural posting.It was quite a novel experience.I was rediscovering my state,my country.I loved every bit of it.

Being the eager learner, and enthusiast that I was, the midwives at our maternity centre decided to let me insert a Copper T into a woman’s vagina in my 1st week after graduation and officially being called a doctor.I was terrified no doubt, considering what effect my previous experiences with the vagina had been.But I was determined and I decided, some day I had to face my fear.So I agreed.I would do the honours!

So for those of you who are not quite sure what copper T is;its very successful reversable method of contraception.Very commonly used in our part of the world.Mostly due to cost reasons.What needs to be done is that the lady lies in the lithotomy position which is a glam word for ‘with feet hanging in the air’.The person inserting the CuT, positions the place where it has to be inserted, inserts it, pulls the safety threads and its all done.Literally in less that a jiffy.

I could do that.That lady was a pro at getting it done.These need to get replaced at regular intervals.This was her 4th or 5th time.She was all game to let a newly qualified doctor in her crispy white coat with all the courage she could muster, to have a go. So the lady was in the right position.I went through the steps of the procedure one last time with the midwife.The stage was set.Gloves on, CopperT in hand,cervix confirmed, CopperT inserted….and just while I was to pull the threads..I felt a familiar woozzy feeling in the head,darkness begins to follow and all I can remember thereafter is..”Are you ok?”

When I got up,I was laying on the next bed to that lady’s.She had left by then.I hoped in one piece and not with her cervix ripped apart.

I think I was more concerned about that lady, than about me having a fainting fit again.The conversation that followed was to the tune of:

Me:Has she gone?
Midwife:Yeah long back.

Me: Was she ok when she left?
Midwife:Yeah,what was to happen to her?

Me:Did some one check her safety threads?
Midwife:Yeah she did, herself..

Me: I think I passed out on her.
Midwife:Yeah we noticed!!!

Me:Red faced.
Midwife:Oh, don’t worry happens to everyone.We have seen a lot of you (freshly graduated) “pass out”..She has too, considering her experience.So she’s gone,fine and laughing,don’t worry.

Me: Thanks (almost feeling better again). Sorry about the drama.
Midwife:No problem, so you ready for the next lady?

Me: Haan? Colour from my face draining out again
Midwife:yaaaaaa, get on with it..you’re ok right?

Me:I am ok, but are you ok?

I am glad she (midwife) told me to get on with it.Thanks to her I conducted my first delivery (of a child), in torch light I might add.Oh and she was a baby girl.It was quite a thrill to know .But thats another story.